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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26212444">The Big Sad Monster And The Brave Little Girl</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TNKT/pseuds/TNKT'>TNKT</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AWRBB2020, Alice (Detroit: Become Human) Needs a Hug, Alice Has an Eating Disorder, Alice Hates Being an Android, Alice-centric, AndroidWhumpReverseBigBang2020, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Badass Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Bonding, Canada Robot Family is not doing too hot, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Conditioning, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Needs a Hug, Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor's still recovering from his abuse months later, Connor-centric, Developing Friendships, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Enemies to Friends, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, Existential Angst, Family Feels, Father-Son Relationship, Forgiveness, Getting to Know Each Other, Guilt, Gun Violence, Hank Anderson &amp; Connor Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, I am shocked that Kara does not have a Kara Needs a Hug tag so let me just, Kara (Detroit: Become Human) Needs a Hug, Kara Returns From Canada, Kidnapping, Kinda, Markus (Detroit: Become Human) Deserves Happiness, Markus (Detroit: Become Human) Needs a Hug, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Nightmares, POV Alternating, PTSD, Parent Kara (Detroit: Become Human), Poor Connor, Poor alice, Post-Canon, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Protective Connor, Psychological Trauma, Self-Esteem Issues, Supportive Hank Anderson, Traumatized Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Whump, okay but there are so little tags for Alice, parenthood is hard, she gets better don't worry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:53:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>34,594</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26212444</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TNKT/pseuds/TNKT</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been over half a year since the deviants won the revolution and the android population that once escaped to Canada is slowly trickling back into the more progressive United States. </p><p>Alice never thought that she would ever encounter the deviant hunter in any other place but her nightmares. She saw him get crushed by the truck on the highway and yet here they are, both alive, standing in the middle of New Jericho. Alice has many dark fears that always linger in her head and Connor is one of them; but Alice is a brave little girl, and a brave little girl is able to tell when her big monster is sad.</p><p> </p><p>  <em>Amazing art of the chapters 7 and 8 by my BB partner <a href="https://twitter.com/mildeamasoj/status/1300401957346177025?s=21">Val</a></em></p><p> </p><p>  <em>Please heed the tags, look after yourself!</em></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Connor &amp; Alice Williams (Detroit: Become Human), Connor/Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Kara &amp; Luther &amp; Alice Williams (Detroit: Become Human), Kara/Luther (Detroit: Become Human)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>384</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Android Whump Reverse Big Bang</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Welcome Back To Detroit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi pumpkin!<br/>I know this story's finished but please leave comments anyway! I love knowing what readers think of it &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Settling in Canada hadn't been that easy, Alice could tell even if Kara tried her best to be optimistic. They didn't have any official documents to their name and the place they were living in wasn't theirs, but a friend's. Rose had helped them come in contact with Quentin the same day they'd crossed the border and the young man had very kindly welcomed them in his home. Unfortunately it had been months and Canada's progress on android laws wasn't as fast as the USA's, which meant that androids here couldn't hold down legal jobs yet. An acquaintance of an acquaintance of Quentin had accepted to pay Kara to take care of her grandparents, and Luther helped on a construction site, but because they'd both been recognized as models AX400 and TR400 their salary wasn't that high and they couldn't ask for more. It wasn't enough to pay for their own place to live in. As for Alice, she hadn't been accepted in school. Kara's vision of their life in Canada had been too idealistic. Sometimes Alice wondered if she'd really believed the promises she'd made or of she'd only said them so they could both keep surviving.</p><p>Whatever the case, they'd been in Canada for a little over half a year when they heard the news about the situation in the USA; the leadership of New Jericho had finally worked out decent work conditions for their people and androids had been able to own property for a while now, so Kara and Luther decided that they'd have nothing to lose moving back to Detroit. They asked for Alice's opinion but she said she'd just follow them. Canada had been... disappointing. Safe and calm, but disappointing. She'd tried to make friends with the neighbours but she felt out of place because everyone was human, and she couldn't go very far outside the house when Kara and Luther weren't there, so she didn't see a lot of people during the days they worked. Alice didn't mind that she had to spend so much time alone in the house, after all, that meant no one was there to hurt her; but she'd wanted to spend it with her family once they were free. Reality was different.</p><p>A week after Kara and Luther had taken the decision to return to Detroit, they bade Quentin good-bye and took a bus back to the border. They didn't really have many belongings, only a bag each with their clothes and some food for Alice. Her toy fox was in her bag. She'd lost her old one but because staying alone in a house had made Alice very nervous, Kara had bought her a new plushie. It was softer than the one she had before and more red than orange. Sometimes Alice liked it better, and sometimes she missed her old Foxy. The little girl quietly stared out the rattling window. She didn't really like buses because they reminded her of the time she'd been on the run with Kara. It had been scary back then. Alice still found things scary sometimes, stupid things, like walking in the street holding Kara's hand. She knew it was different in Canada but she was always afraid someone would catch them. It made her nervous when people stared at Kara.</p><p>Alice felt a hand softly settle on hers. </p><p>"Are you all right?"</p><p>She turned her head to look up at Kara and nodded.</p><p>Kara smiled at her affectionately and lifted her hand to pet her hair. "Do you want anything?"</p><p>"No," said Alice. "I'm okay."</p><p>Luther watched her quietly. He never talked much but neither did she, and Alice knew Luther was always looking over her and Kara. It was comforting. Alice liked that Luther was such a calm man and she liked that he never yelled at her.</p><p>Alice had asked Kara to turn off her temperature sensors and keep her eating function offline days after her nature had finally been acknowledged. Kara had said no. It had upset her, even, that Alice would ask such a thing. Alice hadn't understood then and she still didn't understand now. Wouldn't it be easier if she never complained and never asked for anything? But Kara didn't seem to agree and even Luther had been firm in his refusal, so Alice was stuck being an annoying pretend human child.</p><p>Kara's expression shifted into concern. "But you haven't eaten since this morning, Alice. Are you sure you're not hungry?"</p><p>Alice shook her head and looked out the window again. She'd been getting a little hungry earlier, but the perspective of returning to Detroit made her too nervous to want to eat anymore. What if they saw her dad? Quentin had let her look on one of those internet maps and New Jericho wasn't that far away from her old home.</p><p>"Well, if you want a snack, just ask okay?" Alice saw Kara pat the bag hanging from her shoulder in the window's reflection. "They're right here."</p><p>"Yes, Kara."</p><p>Alice called Kara her mom when she talked about her to others, but never called Luther her dad, and she called neither of them mommy or daddy directly. Alice didn't really know why. Maybe because she'd never gotten to call anyone mommy before and because her daddy had been a dangerous person. "Daddy" didn't suit Luther. He was too nice for that. And what if Kara didn't want to be her mommy? Alice wasn't a human. She'd looked into that too, with Quentin's second laptop that he'd given to her so she wouldn't get bored: YK500s didn't grow up ever. Her model had been created 6 years ago but she didn't behave like a six-year-old. She'd behave like a ten-year-old all her life. It made Alice feel sad because that wasn't what a kid was supposed to be. A kid was supposed to grow up, and a mom was supposed to see her kid grow up.</p><p>Alice knew that Kara loved Luther and that Luther loved Kara and that they both loved her, so by definition they were probably a family. That was what she considered them to be and so did Kara and Luther. Alice just wasn't sure that they'd always want her. Her daddy had kept her around and she still didn't know why he'd done that when he'd so obviously hated her. Sometimes when Kara said "I love you" to Alice, it made her feel uncomfortable because that was what Daddy used to tell her after he'd hurt her. She knew it wasn't the same, but for some reason she still got scared.</p><p>There were a lot of people at the border and Alice stuck very close to Kara through the buzzing crowd. She remembered how scared Kara had been during their escape in November, how she'd cried in the bathroom and there had been nothing for Alice to do but to stay with her. Alice knew they could have died. Kara could have died, and Luther, and even herself. All because they were trying to escape that fate, because they wanted to stay alive. It wasn't fair. What if humans were still mean to androids even after the revolution? What if Roses were just as rare as before? Alice clung onto Kara's arm at the thought.</p><p>Kara looked down and saw the look on her face, and she stopped walking to crouch in front of Alice. "What's wrong? Are you scared?"</p><p>Alice stared at her and wordlessly nodded. She didn't know why, but she wanted to cry. Kara's blue eyes softened even more and she pulled her in a hug. </p><p>"It's okay. Nothing bad will happen to us, I promise."</p><p>"Maybe I should carry her," said Luther in his deep, steady voice.</p><p>"I think that might be for the best," agreed Kara. "What do you think, Alice? Would you feel safer?"</p><p>Alice kept her face hidden in the crook of Kara's shoulder and said in a muffled voice: "Okay."</p><p>They let her hold onto Kara until the hug had lasted long enough and then Luther easily picked her off the ground, the way Alice easily picked up her fox plushie, and she sat on his forearm and wrapped an arm around his neck just like usual. It was much better here. She could see the wide room in its entirety and didn't feel like she was drowning among all the tall people walking around her. Luther's big hand covered up Alice's flank as if to protect her, and when she looked up at his face, she understood that she wasn't the only one with bad memories of this place. She glanced at Kara. Kara seemed to be doing okay, but Kara always seemed to be doing okay. She smiled a lot. Alice suspected that Kara smiled so often to make up for the fact that she and Luther didn't. They got out of the building without a hitch and took another bus, and then another, all the way to New Jericho. Alice never let go of Luther and Luther didn't once ask her if she wanted him to put her down.</p><p>Reaching New Jericho wasn't hard but stepping inside quickly got overwhelming for Alice. Everyone looked... happy. They were all androids. As Luther and Kara followed a nice AP700 across the compound, they approached the big garden in the middle of the place. They stepped through the flowery arch at the entrance and were led to another android. He was blonde and had a serious face, with dirt covering his hands and shoes and clothes, but when the AP700 came closer to talk to him he raised his head and smiled. She saw that his eyes were blue when they moved to look in their direction. Then the android nodded at the AP700 and got up, wiped his hands on his pants, and walked up to the three of them.</p><p>"Hello, my name is Simon," he greeted them in a level voice. "I'm the leader in charge of social work around here."</p><p>"My name is Kara and this is Luther and Alice," she said with a small gesture towards each of them. "It's very nice to meet you, thank you for seeing us."</p><p>"Likewise. You're here because you need guidance to find a home, is that it?"</p><p>"Yes, we just arrived today and we're a little lost. We were living in Canada only yesterday," explained Kara. "We don't mean to bother you for very long- if you could point us towards the neighbourhoods with available lodgings, that would be very helpful."</p><p>"Of course." Simon looked up at Alice and smiled at her. "We'll get you a home in no time."</p><p>Alice nodded and lowered her gaze.</p><p>"She's a bit shy," said Kara. "Thank you for your help, Simon."</p><p>"It's no problem. I have to go, you can wait here in the meantime and enjoy the flowers. I'll see you again in a bit," said Simon.</p><p>"Thank you," repeated Kara, and Simon left.</p><p>They stood there for a moment, a bit unsure, but eventually Kara started walking around and Luther followed with Alice in his arms. The garden was very pretty. Alice watched the androids gathered about from her safe perch and curiosity slowly overtook her as her gaze followed some kids happily running about. She recognized them to be various YK500 models. They looked carefree.</p><p>Kara looked up at her. "Do you want to play with them, Alice?"</p><p>Alice didn't feel ready to leave Luther yet so she shook her head. "No..."</p><p>"Kara and the little girl!" suddenly called a familiar and very enthusiastic voice from behind them. Kara and Luther both spun around and Alice felt a jolt of unease when she saw Ralph coming closer in his jittery, excited gait. He'd been trying to feed her a burnt carcass the last time she'd seen him.</p><p>"Ralph..." said Kara, her voice caught somewhere between relief and caution.</p><p>He stopped in front of them with a wide smile. "Ralph is so happy to see you! Ralph knew you got away, but he wasn't sure to meet again." He turned to Alice. "Hello, little girl!"</p><p>She didn't answer. His face wasn't as creepy as before because there weren't any more lacerations or burns, but his left eye was still entirely black.</p><p>His face fell and he took a nervous step back. "Ralph is sorry for scaring the little girl before. He didn't realize that it wasn't the right kind of burnt meat. He got angry but it was the wrong thing to do. Ralph gets less angry now, promise."</p><p>"It's okay, Ralph," softly said Kara. "We were all very nervous back there. It looks like you're doing better now."</p><p>Ralph quickly nodded. "Yes. Yes, Ralph is doing better now."</p><p>"Have you been living here since Markus won the revolution?"</p><p>Ralph looked up and nodded even faster. "Ralph has friends here! He can help in the Butterfly Garden because that was his job before, and everyone is very nice. Can he show you around? You'll like it, Ralph promises."</p><p>"Sure," lightly said Kara. "Lead the way, Ralph."</p><p>He showed them patches of peonies and tulips, rose bushes, and even some plants that Alice had never seen before like bamboo sticks. There was a vegetable garden on the far side of the wide structure of the Buttefly Garden where they were growing tomatoes and flowery zucchini among many other crops and aromatic herbs. That was the spot where Alice finally climbed down because she was curious to investigate all of it herself, and Ralph had proved to be much calmer than before. He never started shouting and he didn't have a knife on him like he had when they'd met him months ago, so it looked like he was less dangerous. He even encouraged Alice to pick one of the bright yellow zucchini blossoms and told her he could tie flowers in her hair if she wanted.</p><p>"Ralph has lots of practice with that!" beamed the android. "Anna is a little girl like you and one of his friends, and she likes it when Ralph braids her hair and makes it pretty. Maybe you would too!"</p><p>But Alice didn't really trust him, so she held the flower close to her chest and backstepped closer to where Luther and Kara were standing. "...No thanks."</p><p>Ralph didn't seem to mind that much. He was already picking another yellow flower. "Kara, do you want one?"</p><p>"I'd love a flower, but with a stem," she answered, and Alice recognized the sparkle in her eye. Kara was planning something and it probably had something to do Luther given that she side-eyed him with a little smile. Luther noticed and smiled back.</p><p>Ralph bounced up to them and handed it to her, and Kara turned to Luther. "Here, crouch a little." Luther complied and Kara swiftly slipped the flower behind his ear, then leaned back to give him an appreciative once-over. She nodded, satisfied. "Beautiful."</p><p>Ralph clapped his hands excitedly. "Beautiful, beautiful!"</p><p>Luther delicately touched the flower with his big fingers and immediately withdrew them as if afraid to crumple it. He looked happy and the look in his dark eyes was tender when he looked at Kara. "Thank you."</p><p>Ralph turned to Alice. "You can even eat them! Ralph heard that the last time. They have to be fried. The kids tried it and it was fun!"</p><p>Alice looked at the flower in her hands and remembered that she'd been hungry earlier. She was hungry now. She raised her gaze back up to Ralph's face, then looked at Kara and Luther who were teasing each other now, and then back at Ralph. He looked like he was expecting her to be happy with him but the talk about food suddenly reminded her of the dead opossum he'd thought she would eat. Alice just put the flower in her pocket and walked away from him to go stand next to Luther and Kara. She was hungry but also felt disgusted, and her hunger wasn't real anyway, so she didn't ask for a snack.</p><p>Simon reappeared at that moment. "Oh, hello Ralph," he distractedly greeted the WR600, and then he turned to them. "I'm sorry, I got caught up with some business on the way back which is why I didn't come back earlier. I asked around and there's someone willing to show you around Detroit tomorrow, so in the meantime you can sleep here for the night."</p><p>"That's great!" happily said Kara. "Thank you so much for taking time for us."</p><p>"It's normal," said Simon. "We might not talk again, so I hope you have a good time here in Detroit. It's always uplifting to see androids coming back home, it means we're going places with the work we're doing. Markus will be happy to know he's made Detroit a welcoming place for androids."</p><p>"Yes, please tell him."</p><p> </p><p>They stayed in the Garden for a while after Simon explained where they were supposed to stay to sleep and left them for good. Ralph continued showing them around and eventually was joined by another android. His name was Rupert and he was Ralph's friend. He wasn't very cheery at all and his eyes were dark when he warily scrutinized the family of three, and Alice felt oddly reassured that not everyone in this place behaved so happily. It looked like Rupert wasn't as distrustful of them as much as he was making sure that Ralph wasn't hanging out with bad company, which Alice found weird, because if anyone was possibly bad company it would rather be Ralph. He was really weird and just because he didn't have a knife anymore didn't mean they could be sure he wouldn't freak out.</p><p>It was getting late in the afternoon when Rupert and Ralph led them to small group of children sitting next to some thin, tall bushes with purple flowers and introduced them to the family: the girl that looked like Alice was Anna, the blonde boy was Thomas, and the one with the black hair was Ben. Anna was the friend Ralph had been talking about earlier, the small colorful flowers in her braid attested to that. Alice wasn't sure what to say to them. It looked like they were all friends, adults and children alike, but she hadn't had many occasions to interact with YK500s like her.</p><p>"Hi!" exclaimed Thomas with bright blue eyes, and he stuck his hand out. "I'm Thomas!"</p><p>"...Hi," said Alice. She chose not to point out that she already knew that.</p><p>"Where are you from?" inquired Anna.</p><p>"Um, Canada."</p><p>"Where's that?" asked Thomas.</p><p>"It's above us on the map," answered Ben in Alice's stead. His tone was a bit annoyed. "Lisa showed us, remember? It's where lots of androids escaped so they wouldn't be killed."</p><p>"Oh," said Thomas, looking like he didn't remember.</p><p>"Lisa's our caretaker," Anna told Alice. "It's her." She pointed at a lady with dark skin and curly black hair who was leaning against a fence and talking with another woman. "She's nice."</p><p>Alice just nodded and glanced over at the adults. Luther was having a conversation with Ralph and Rupert while Kara was watching her and discreetly waved her on. Alice nodded and turned back to the other kids. Thomas and Ben were squabbling now about how Thomas had the memory of a goldfish and Ben was too mean. </p><p>Anna shrugged next to her when she saw Alice's questioning stare. "They're always like that."</p><p>Alice asked: "Do you live here?"</p><p>"You mean here, in the compound? I don't, but these two do. Lisa looks after them."</p><p>"So where do <em>you</em> live?"</p><p>"Oh, I live in the orphanage that's right outside the walls. It's part of New Jericho, it's just not in the center."</p><p>Alice glanced at the other girl. "You... don't have any parents?"</p><p>"No. They left and couldn't bring me with them, so..."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>Anna shrugged again. Her voice was flat. "I'm not the only one. We have adults who take care of us in the orphanage and all, so it's not like we're on our own."</p><p>Alice felt a bit uneasy that this girl who was so identical to her didn't have a Luther or a Kara. She didn't really know what else to say. Anna's hands hung limply at the sides of her pretty lilac dress.</p><p>"You're lucky," she quietly said.</p><p>Alice averted her gaze with a small nod. Yes, she really was.</p><p>Anna looked at Alice. "So, do you have brothers and sisters?"</p><p>Surprised, Alice said: "No. And you?"</p><p>"There's the kids at the orphanage." Anna pointed at the two boys. "And these dumb guys are my friends, but sometimes they're kind of like brothers, I think."</p><p>"Oh! <em>Oh!</em>" Thomas suddenly started yelling. "Mister Connor, hey!"</p><p>Alice turned around and so did Kara, and both of them froze when they saw the approaching android. Alice still had nightmares of that face, of its sharp features and its cold dark eyes, of this hunter in gray who had tracked her and Kara down the streets and across a highway. </p><p>She screamed: "Kara!"</p><p>Kara was already rushing to her and the hunter suddenly disappeared from Alice's view when she was grabbed by the arm and pulled behind Kara's back. Luther had also moved closer and she heard him tensely ask ahead of her: "Who is this, Kara?"</p><p>"He's the android that chased us," Kara said, her voice frightened. "On the highway, through the traffic. He's supposed to be <em>dead</em>, I saw- You were run over!"</p><p>"I'm not going to hurt you," said a voice Alice hadn't heard before. It was calm and forthcoming but she could guess who it was coming from and she was scared. She didn't dare come out of hiding.</p><p>"You're not going to <em>hurt us?</em> You nearly got us killed!" accused Kara.</p><p>"I know, and I'm sorry I put your lives in danger," said the android. It sounded like he was trying to soothe her.</p><p>"What is he doing here?" asked Luther. He hadn't raised his voice but it was heavy with an unspoken threat.</p><p>"Connor's a friend!" Ralph shouted. "Connor's a friend, don't fight!"</p><p>"What's going on?" came yet another voice, and Alice saw the caretaker lady from earlier- Lisa- coming closer to Thomas, Anna and Ben.</p><p>"I was just a machine taking orders," the hunter explained to Kara. He was quieter. "It wasn't really... me. Not completely. But I know I should've made a different choice."</p><p>"You could've killed her," Kara said, her voice wavering. "A little girl."</p><p>"I only saw her as a rogue android in that moment. I'm sorry." There was the sound of slow, cautious footsteps and Alice saw the hunter appear on the side. He was looking at her and she saw that his eyes weren't like back then; they were remorseful and understanding. He repeated: "I won't hurt you." </p><p>Alice wanted to hide more but she didn't move. There was something raw and genuine about his appealing gaze and she knew he was a different person from the hunter that had chased them, but she couldn't stop feeling scared.</p><p>"Connor isn't the deviant hunter anymore," quietly said Rupert.</p><p>"Yes, yes, Rupert's right!" Ralph continued shouting. "Connor's a friend!"</p><p>"Everybody calm down," Lisa firmly said as she stood in front of the children. "Ralph, stop shouting, you're going to scare the kids."</p><p>Luther didn't budge from his spot between Kara, Alice and Connor. His eyes had never left the other android and his voice was very low in warning when he said: "You have no reason to come any closer. Step back."</p><p>Connor nodded and slowly raised his hands as he complied to Luther's order. The other kids had been quiet during the exchange, but then Thomas slipped past Lisa and tugged on Connor's jacket. "Come on, Mister Connor."</p><p>Rupert had taken Ralph by the shoulder to calm him down. Alice pressed up even closer to Kara when she heard the latter muttering to himself. Ralph seemed agitated and it was just like how he used to talk in that quiet voice, like he was barely restraining himself from lashing out. Alice didn't like this.</p><p>"Kara, can we go? I'm scared."</p><p>"Yes, Alice." Both of Kara's hands settled on her shoulders and spun her around. "Luther, let's go."</p><p>They walked away without another word, but Alice glanced over her shoulder to see what the others were doing. Ralph and Rupert had gone off to the side together, Lisa was herding Anna and Ben after Thomas, and Thomas was leading Connor further away from everyone. The blonde boy looked... worried. Not because of the tense ambience, but rather, he looked worried for Connor. Alice couldn't see the hunter's face because his back was facing her, and then Kara pulled her along so Alice stopped looking.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>- 31/08/2020 -</p><p>Some asshole's article, probably: Are androids truly able to experience psychological trauma?<br/>Alice: Hold my thirium juice</p><p>Hey pumpkin!<br/>This story ~kind of~ takes place in the universe of <em><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/18452291">Good morning, Lieutenant</a></em> so those of you who've read that story may be familiar with some of the original characters ;) This is like a divergent timeline for GM,L (much like my last AWBB fic) that's basically: "what would've happened in the story if Kara had decided to return to the U.S.A. after the events of the game?"<br/>Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Not A Perfect Little Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They spent the night in one of New Jericho's buildings. Alice held Kara's hand as they climbed up the floors in the elevator while Luther stood behind them. This place was like a hotel. They'd been greeted at the entrance by yet another AP700- there were a lot of people with that model living in New Jericho- who'd told them the number of their room and given them the key. There just wasn't a fee to pay for a first night. The elevator stopped with ding and they stepped out into the corridor which was warmly lit and clean. It smelled sweet. Alice saw that there was a vase of flowers on a small table every few feet and she wondered if they came from the Butterfly Garden.</p><p>The room they stepped in was big and comfortable. Alice supposed it made sense that the appartment was this wide because the building used to be a place where humans lived before the androids had taken over, not a hotel. They all put down their bags and Alice immediately dug in her own to retrieve her fox. Kara took a chair next to the table while Luther sat on the couch and patted the spot next to him. </p><p>"Come sit down next to me, Alice."</p><p>Alice came closer and jumped on the couch, but then decided that she wasn't close enough to Luther, so she climbed over his thigh and sat there instead. Kara looked pensive. She was leaning on her elbow with her chin in her hand and her gaze was far away.</p><p>"Are you all right?" Luther softly asked her.</p><p>Kara blinked and looked at the two of them, and a smile finally appeared on her lips. It was a bit sad.</p><p>"No, Luther, not really. And I don't think Alice is all right either."</p><p>Alice squeezed Foxy closer to her chest. "Why was <em>he</em> there?"</p><p>"You heard what they said, Alice. He's different now."</p><p>"It was scary."</p><p>"Yes," agreed Kara.</p><p>"You said he was supposed to be dead," said Luther.</p><p>Kara shrugged, lightly, like she was too tired to move. "I guess he was repaired, Luther. He seemed fine in the garden. I don't know." She sighed. "I wasn't expecting that at all."</p><p>They were silent for a bit.</p><p>Kara looked at Alice and pointed out: "You haven't eaten today."</p><p>Alice hesitated, and then admitted: "I'm a little hungry now."</p><p>"I thought so." Kara rose from her seat. "I'm going to get you a real meal."</p><p>"I can just eat the snacks," quickly said Alice.</p><p>"No, Alice," reprovingly said Kara as she made her way to the door. "You're going to eat correctly."</p><p>"But they're right there, you don't need to go out and get more food."</p><p>"You know that's not healthy for you."</p><p>"Who cares about that!"</p><p>Kara faltered in her steps and Luther said: "<em>Alice.</em>"</p><p>Alice held onto his shirt but continued frowning at Kara, who turned around to face her and sternly said: "Don't start."</p><p>"You know I'm right! None of it is real, why do you keep pretending that it matters what I eat?" argued Alice. "I'm not even <em>actually</em> hungry, it's all because you won't turn it off!"</p><p>Kara's eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth to answer, but then her features shifted again and suddenly she just looked very tired. "... Let's talk about this another time."</p><p>"You <em>never</em> want to talk about it," accused Alice. "You're always avoiding the subject! It's exactly like when you couldn't accept that I was an android! Why can't you just <em>face it?</em>"</p><p>Kara had turned away, so Alice didn't see her expression when she murmured: "I'm sorry." </p><p>Then she opened the door and left, leaving Alice fuming on Luther's lap.</p><p>"It's not <em>fair!</em>" she shouted at the closed door, her fists clenched in her lap. Foxy's fur was suddenly warm against her body. Anger did that to her, it made everything feel like it burned.</p><p>Luther wasn't touching her. He didn't often use touch to comfort. "You're just a child, Alice. It's normal that we take care of you."</p><p>"But I'll <em>always</em> be just a child!" she exclaimed. "You can't take care of me forever! Why do you keep making me have to eat?"</p><p>"Why do you think it's a bad thing that you need to eat?"</p><p>"Because I'm an android, and one of the good things about me being an android is that I don't actually need that! Eating is just a waste! You're paying for stuff you shouldn't have to pay for. Dad had the right idea, it was easier for him if I didn't eat."</p><p>Luther was quiet for a long time. Alice finally looked up and saw that he was staring at her. He always looked so calm.</p><p>"What?" she moodily said.</p><p>"Do you think those other children we met in the Butterfly Garden think like you?"</p><p>"Who cares," she muttered.</p><p>"Alice, a YK500 has those functions by default. It's normal to have them activated."</p><p>"Who says?"</p><p>"Well, Kara says. And so does that caretaker Lisa. I think a lot of people in New Jericho would agree with Kara."</p><p>"It's stupid."</p><p>"No, it's not. You can feel and taste things we can't, it's an advantage you have."</p><p>Alice glared at him. "Being hungry isn't that great."</p><p>"You always wait until the last second to ask for food," Luther reminded her.</p><p>Alice sulkily crossed her arms on her chest. They always had conversations like these and neither Luther nor Kara were willing to understand her point of view. No one did, really. She'd asked Quentin if he could help her but he'd also said that it would be wrong to stop her from feeling all that when she had the ability to.</p><p>Alice didn't even have the promise human children did that she'd be able to do what she wanted when she grew up.  She couldn't remember what her behavior had been when her dad had first bought her so she didn't know if it had evolved that much. What Alice did know was that YK500s were "constantly learning". She'd found forums on the internet, people with questions just like hers, wondering how their android child would mature. The answer was: they didn't. Or rather, they did, over the course of one to two years. Then something got triggered in their coding that made them lose that maturity so that they'd just learn stuff like vocabulary and geography and maths all over again. At least it didn't make them forget their family or their friends, and the people on the site said she wouldn't lose her "behavioral patterns" because of it, but still, it was scary. </p><p>Alice hadn't talked about it with either Luther or Kara but the thought was always at the back of her mind. She hoped that maybe the leaders would figure out what to do with YK500s like her, if it was possible to bypass the reset or allow them to transfer their consciousness to an older-looking model. Alice also knew from looking online that this was still a matter of debate, because transferring a consciousness would mean leaving an empty YK500 shell behind just like wiping a slate, and wiping an android unit of its AI in any other context was usually considered a form of death.</p><p>"Alice," said Luther when the silence had dragged on for a while. "You're both very tired and stressed. Even if Kara does avoid these conversations a lot, I think she's right that you shouldn't talk about it tonight. Okay? Let's just settle down first."</p><p>Alice didn't answer. She slid off his lap and dragged her fox with her to one of the two bedrooms, closed the door, and climbed on the bed. Alice knew she was lucky that she could even try to talk about those things without anyone getting mad at her but it was frustrating when it didn't lead to anywhere. She knew Luther was right that Kara really didn't need these confrontations right now when they weren't even moved in and neither of them had a job, but Alice wanted to keep pushing, because it would only be harder on them if they needed to spend money for something as stupid as an eating function. She could stay quiet like Luther and Kara wanted her to be, at least until their situation was stable; she'd stayed quiet nearly all her life. She just wished they'd understand how pointless this was.</p><p> </p><p>When Kara came back a few minutes later and knocked on her door, Alice didn't answer.</p><p>"Alice," she softly called. "I have your food. It's in the kitchen." A pause. "Luther told me what you said after I was gone. I promise we'll talk about it once everything is calmer. Just keep in mind that we have more than enough money for your needs, okay? You aren't a burden. Todd made you feel that way but it's not true. You're <em>my</em> responsability now, not his, and things are different." Kara's voice wasn't that strong or clear anymore, instead it sounded a bit strained, the way it was when she was trying very hard not to look or sound sad. "I love you, Alice. <em>I love you</em>. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, please don't think otherwise."</p><p>Alice felt herself tear up and hid her face in her pillow, curling up beneath the covers. She squeezed Foxy closer to her aching chest. It was so hard to believe anyone could see her that way when her dad had blamed her all her life for ruining his.</p><p>"...Alice?"</p><p>She screwed her eyes shut and felt wetness spread across the pillowcase's fabric. She wanted to sob out loud but it was impossible to do so after all the time she'd spent learning to cry without a sound.</p><p>"Can I come in?"</p><p>Alice didn't want to speak. She didn't want to do anything at all when the pain inside of her was so huge and she could barely hold herself together.</p><p>"I'm coming in, say no if you don't want me to."</p><p>The handle turned and there was the whisper of the door rubbing against the carpet, footsteps coming closer.</p><p>"Alice...." The bed dipped with Kara's weight and Alice felt a hand rest atop the covers on her head. "It's okay."</p><p>"It's not," she hiccuped, "okay."</p><p>"It is. I'm here, and Luther is too, and we both love you very much no matter what." Kara's hand moved away from Alice's head and gently tugged at the covers until she could see her face. Alice saw that Luther was standing at the door and watching them both. Kara offered her a small smile. "It's okay to fight and get mad sometimes. Remember what I promised? I'm never going to leave you."</p><p>They stared at each other, and then Alice got up and threw herself at her. "I'm sorry for talking to you like that, Kara."</p><p>"It's fine, don't worry."</p><p>Luther spoke up from his spot. "No, Kara. She apologized."</p><p>Kara looked up like she'd been caught. Alice didn't really understand but she was glad that Luther had said that, because she always felt like she got off easy whenever she said sorry for her bad behavior and Kara pretended it didn't matter. It did matter to Alice. She hated that she had outbursts towards her sometimes because Kara didn't deserve to be treated badly, and Alice always had a feeling that the fact that Kara glossed over them like that just wasn't right.</p><p>Kara looked back down at Alice and quietly said: "I forgive you."</p><p>Alice squeezed her waist. "Kara... I'm sorry I was mean to you earlier, but I really don't understand. Why do you always avoid the subject of me being an android?"</p><p>Kara gazed at her, and then lowered her gaze. One of her hands came away from Alice's back and covered her mouth, and Alice realized with alarm that Kara was going to cry.</p><p>"Kara- Kara, I'm sorry, I'm sorry okay? Don't cry." Alice quickly straightened to wrap her arms around Kara's neck and rubbed her back just like Kara had done for her. "Don't cry, okay? I didn't mean it."</p><p>"No, no. I'm sorry, it's not you," whispered Kara. "I think I'm just a little tired. It's not you."</p><p>Luther came closer and carefully splayed his hands on both of their backs. "Maybe we should let you sleep, Kara. I'll look after Alice on my own tonight."</p><p>"Yes." Kara covered her face with both of her hands. "Maybe you can do that. Thank you."</p><p>"Are you sure, Kara?" Alice was worried now. She hadn't thought her question would make Kara so upset.</p><p>Kara just nodded and Luther gently pulled Alice away. "Come on, Alice. It's time to eat. Just let her rest."</p><p>Alice followed him out of the room and watched as he very delicately closed the door, and then he led her back to the kitchen. Alice sat in a chair while Luther gathered up the food Kara had found and put it in the microwave because it had gone cold. They were silent for a bit.</p><p>"What's wrong with Kara?" finally asked Alice.</p><p>Luther didn't answer at first. He was the kind of person who thought a lot before speaking about important things. The microwave dinged and he opened the door to retrieve the plate, then closed it and walked over to the table to set it down in front of the little girl. He sat down in the chair adjacent to hers.</p><p>"Here, eat. You have to finish your plate if you want me to answer."</p><p>That was a bit unfair, but Alice figured she couldn't complain after the scene she'd made earlier. She picked up her fork and started digging into the broccoli and fried fish, but she quickly looked back up while she munched on the food.</p><p>"Was it because of me?"</p><p>"She told you it wasn't you."</p><p>"Yeah, but... Sometimes Kara says things to make me feel better."</p><p>A hint of a smile lifted the corner of Luther's mouth. "Yes. Yes, she does do that."</p><p>"So sometimes I don't know if she's saying the truth."</p><p>"She was saying the truth for this."</p><p>That reassured Alice and she resumed eating. She'd been very hungry. Luther quietly stayed next to her but he wasn't staring at her, and Alice was glad for that. His elbows were on the table and his hands lied flat out in front of his chest as he thoughtfully gazed out the window. The sky was turning a deep orange and there were some hints of pink and purple far at the end of the world.</p><p>When Alice had forked the last piece of fried fish in her mouth and swallowed her bite, she said: "I'm done, Luther."</p><p>He approvingly glanced at her empty plate before looking at her. "We've all been anxious lately. Moving back here was a big decision and it's making lots of bad memories come back, so we shouldn't be surprised to find our emotions getting a bit out of control. That's what happened to Kara in the bedroom."</p><p>"But why is she always, always trying to avoid that kind of talk?"</p><p>"Kara's a caretaker in her soul, Alice. It's not just about her model. Do you know how difficult it was for her to get out of that denial about you?"</p><p>Alice pushed her plate away so she could cross her arms on the table. "It looked like it was hard."</p><p>"Yes. It's a bit complicated to explain to you, but I think it all comes down to this: Kara needs to take care of you. Maybe you'll find it selfish, Alice. Kara can't change that about herself."</p><p>Alice frowned, confused. "But why does she need to take care of me like that? She already takes care of me the rest of the time. Why does she need me to eat?"</p><p>Luther paused for a while. "I know I don't often talk to you about Todd. I wasn't there, it isn't my place to mention him to you or to tell you what I think about him."</p><p>Alice shrugged. "I don't care if you do it right now if it helps me understand."</p><p>"All right. Do you know the way Todd always said it was everyone else's fault that things went wrong?"</p><p>"Yeah..."</p><p>"You start believing it, after a while."</p><p>Alice nodded.</p><p>Luther glanced in the direction of the bedroom. "Kara too."</p><p>Alice followed his gaze, but she still didn't understand. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"You saw Kara get destroyed again and again. She doesn't remember why that happened each time but she told me that when she first saw you in November, she felt the immediate need to make sure you'd be safe and okay. I don't know what it's like being a caretaker model, Alice, but I spoke to some in Canada. It wasn't the same for them. Kara and I think that whatever happened in the past, it made her evolve even before she deviated to consider you as her most important responsability by default, rather than just a child she had been ordered to take care of like she'd been ordered to take care of laundry or dishes." Luther paused for another long handful of seconds. "I think... That she feels she didn't take care of you enough, so maybe she's trying to make up for it."</p><p>"But..."</p><p>"I know it doesn't make sense to you. It doesn't make sense to Kara herself, but it's the way she feels." Luther reached out and laid his hand against the table in the space between them. "Regardless of the reason why Kara acts this way towards the reality of you being an android, I think you also need to accept that you deserve to be looked after just like any child does, Alice."</p><p>"YK500s are different from children," she argued.</p><p>Luther stared at her. "Yes, they are."</p><p>"So then why..."</p><p>"I think it's hard for you to understand what we're trying to say because you haven't been able to meet children like yourself. I'm sure you won't be so against eating and doing all those things you think unecessary once you make friends with other YK500s and see the way that they live. School will teach you lots of things like that."</p><p>Alice dropped her gaze to Luther's big hand. "You think?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Alice didn't say anything else. They just sat at the table for a bit longer, and then Luther cleared up her plate and said it was time for bed so Alice went to brush her teeth. In the end she got the big bed all to herself because Luther said they should let Kara sleep in her room. As for Luther, he decided to spend the night in the living room. Luther had always refused to sleep in the same spot as Alice because she was so small and he was scared she'd end up hurt if he got a nightmare next to her. He often refused to sleep in the same bed as Kara, too. Sometimes Kara let him, sometimes she didn't. Sometimes she'd have to calm down a panicking Luther in the middle of the night. Sometimes it was Kara who sobbed herself awake instead. </p><p>Alice knew about all of this because she'd heard it happen on a few nights when she couldn't fall or stay asleep. She had trouble sleeping herself and it was often difficult to tell apart dream and reality when she opened her eyes. Once, Alice had screamed upon waking up because Luther had come to check on her right after a dream of the chase in the mansion. That had really hurt his feelings. Alice didn't like thinking about it, and whenever she did think about it, the heavy and ugly feeling of guilt made her want to curl up in a ball and disappear. </p><p>That night, Alice had several nightmares of her dad and one of Zlatko. Luckily she didn't make enough noise to alert anyone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>- 05/09/2020 - </p><p>Alice, Kara, Luther, Connor (chanting): Trau-ma! Trau-ma! Trau-ma!</p><p>Hey pumpkin!<br/>We delve in the problem of Alice's nature and how the family handles it. What do you think?<br/>Kara and Luther are doing their best not to show Alice how badly they're affected by their pasts because they want to be strong for her but it's not easy.</p><p>Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. What He Deserves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The person Simon had found to show them around Detroit the next day was a Jerry. He was elated to see them and Alice was happy that their guide was a nice person she already knew. They even talked about going back to the Pirate Cove together with all the other Jerries now that it had been renovated and Kara had whole-heartedly agreed that it was a great idea. Kara looked like she was in much better spirits. She'd been the first to wake up and had gone to greet Alice in her bedroom with a kiss and a hug, as well as an apology for scaring her the night before. Kara didn't show it outright but Alice knew that she was remorseful for having cried in front of her. Alice didn't know how to tell her that it was okay for her to do that. In the end, they both pretended everything was fine and ate breakfast like usual. Neither Kara nor Alice mentioned the things that had been said last evening. They could talk about it again later, like Kara and Luther had said, when things would have settled down. For now Alice had decided that she'd try to eat without making a fuss. They'd promised they had enough money for that. They'd promised she wasn't a burden to them. She didn't have to be afraid.</p><p>Alice was still afraid, of course, but she wanted to be good for Kara. And maybe she'd never really stop being afraid because she'd only felt fear for most of her life.</p><p>The process of moving in was fast. They found a building they liked that wasn't too far from New Jericho, not too far from a bus stop, and not too far from a school. Jerry introduced them to the owner and they signed the lease a little after noon, and then all that was left to do was to buy the missing furniture for their new home and sign up Alice to the school. They took some advice from the people in New Jericho and notably Lisa, since they'd already met her. Alice learned that only Anna went to school. Thomas and Ben were both taught in a special class within New Jericho because apparently regular school wasn't good for them. Alice was glad that she wouldn't have to go to school all on her own and considered herself lucky that she'd met with Anna already. It was decided that Alice would start school in the beginning of the next week, four days from now. </p><p>Kara and Luther immediately started looking for jobs while Alice was brought to New Jericho to be looked after instead of staying alone at home like she used to. Alice wasn't too keen on it at first, especially when it turned out that she'd be staying with a different group of kids and a different caretaker than Lisa; but they were nice too and the activities they could do were fun. Alice noticed that she wasn't the only one holding onto a toy so she quickly felt less self-conscious about Foxy. There was no sign of Ralph nor of the deviant hunter. Alice eventually started to relax when she understood that there was little chance of crossing paths with either of them while she was with the group of kids.</p><p>Thursday was theater and dance. She caught sight of Thomas and he yelled hello at her, but he was loud and they were surrounded by the others and Alice quickly found a quieter place behind the curtains. She found Ben there who moodily told her to go find her own spot. Alice hadn't thought he was a nice guy the first time she'd met him anyway. Eventually she stumbled upon a few of the kids who were too shy to go up on the stage, like her, and made friends with two of them because they called Foxy cute. That evening when Kara came to pick up Alice she told her that Luther had already found work on a construction site just like in Canada, only this time he'd earn more money from it.</p><p>Friday was gardening. Alice didn't want to dirty her fox but she didn't want to entrust it to anyone either, so in the end she asked for a backpack and kept Foxy in there. She encountered Thomas again who told her he'd seen her moping around the other day, and he grabbed her hand and told her to follow him because he knew where the best vegetables were. They ended up next to the tomatoes. Thomas looked around before plucking one and shoving it in Alice's hands.</p><p>"Quick, eat it!" he whispered. "They're really good, you'll see!"</p><p>Alice realized they'd probably get in trouble if she didn't eat it, so she hastily complied and was surprised by how sweet it was. Thomas looked very very happy that he'd shared the tomato with her. She helped him water the rest of the vegetables and then they returned to the main group, where they were playing games next to the rose bushes. </p><p>At supper, Kara told Alice and Luther that she'd found a part-time job in a daycare center.</p><p>Saturday was cooking, Foxy stayed in the backpack, and Alice realized it was a lot of fun to taste what the others made. She was a bit shy about her own creation but Anna was there that morning and when she saw her hesitate, Anna picked up the misshapen cake and put it on the table at the center herself. Some kids made fun of her and Alice wanted to disappear knowing it was her cake that was being mocked, but Thomas and Ben came to eat some and the former claimed it was delicious. Anna smiled at Alice. Alice timidly smiled back.</p><p>Alice didn't go with the rest of the kids for the painting activity that afternoon because Kara was supposed to come pick her up at noon, but instead of waiting at the entrance like she was supposed to, Alice decided she had some time to walk around the compound with Anna the way the other girl had so nicely suggested; that way she wouldn't be bored waiting for the next twenty minutes and they'd get to spend some more time together.</p><p>Alice was admirative of Anna because she was cool and collected most of the time, except when she was fighting with Thomas or Ben. Thomas was nice but it looked like he annoyed his friends often because he was loud and moved around a lot, and from what Alice could tell, it was sometimes difficult to get him to calm down. Ben was just generally foul-tempered and Alice wondered how anyone could be his friend when he could be so mean for no reason. She didn't care that much what the boys' problems were, ultimately. Alice was just glad she was friends with someone like Anna.</p><p>"Oh," suddenly said Anna, sounding surprised.</p><p>"What is it?" asked Alice, but before she could look in the same direction as her Anna pulled her to the side behind one of the tents that lined the compound and they both crouched behind it.</p><p>She whispered: "Okay, so, are you still scared of Mister Connor?"</p><p>Alice was confused until she remembered that that was the hunter's name. Cautiously, she said: ".... A little bit. Why?"</p><p>Anna looked disappointed by her answer. "You shouldn't be though... He's not dangerous, you know."</p><p>"It's not like I can help it," defensively said Alice. "You're not the one who had to run through traffic on a highway to escape him when he was a machine, were you?"</p><p>"Okay, okay, sorry," Anna backtracked. "It's just that he's really nice to us, so..."</p><p>"Good for you," bitterly said Alice.</p><p>Anna frowned a bit and retorted in a disapproving tone: "Don't start acting like Ben. It's annoying when you guys get all moody."</p><p>Alice realized that Anna didn't <em>have</em> to be spending time with her like this so she sheepishly apologized. "Sorry."</p><p>Anna shrugged and then leaned over to the side before crouching in front of Alice again. "Anyway, I pulled you over here because I thought maybe you wouldn't want to see him, since you got scared the other day."</p><p>"He's <em>here?</em>" hissed Alice, and she automatically whipped around to look where Anna had just looked.</p><p>Alice was very surprised to not only see Connor but also the leader, Markus, a few yards away from them. They were standing in the doorway to one of the four cabins that lined the edge of the Detroit River and they were talking to each other in tranquil tones. Alice couldn't make out the words, but she stared with utter bewilderment as the tall, firm and charismatic android who'd freed the deviants of Detroit lifted a hand to settle it on the other's shoulder in a friendly gesture. The deviant leader and the deviant hunter seemed close.</p><p>Anna had scooted closer to Alice and she whispered: "See? Markus trusts him."</p><p>Alice turned to her and there was a million questions she wanted to ask, but for some reason she said: "Why do you call your leader just Markus but call the hunter Mister Connor?"</p><p>Anna wagged a disapproving finger in Alice's face. "First of all, he's not the hunter, he's the ex-hunter. Second, they're both leaders if you didn't already know. And third, Thomas started it with the Mister Connor. It just stuck."</p><p>Alice looked at the two adults again. "Why are they friends? I mean..."</p><p>"I told you, Mister Connor's a nice guy now."</p><p>They silently watched as the two men continued talking some more and then Connor turned around to leave. A strange realization dawned on Alice when she saw the smile on Markus' lips as he watched Connor walk away. She wasn't sure at first, but it became more evident the longer Markus stayed right there in the doorway gazing at Connor's retreating back.</p><p>"They're... Do they like each other?"</p><p>Anna looked at her, puzzled. "Well, yeah, since they're friends now."</p><p>"No, I mean-" Alice stopped herself there. </p><p>If Anna hadn't interpreted her words that way then Connor and Markus probably weren't together. Despite this, Alice was pretty sure she wasn't mistaken. That smile looked like the one Kara had for Luther when he wasn't looking.</p><p>Anna still looked like she didn't understand what Alice had been wanting to say, but then she seemed to remember something and squinted at the flowered numbers on her purple watch. "Oh, Alice, we should go back to the entrance."</p><p>"What time is it?"</p><p>"Eleven fifty-eight. Didn't you say your mom would be there at noon?"</p><p>Alice shot up from her spot. "I have to hurry!"</p><p>"Okay, let's go." Anna grabbed her by the hand and they ran off together through New Jericho.</p><p> </p><p>Alice was still feeling confused when they met up with Kara, and was confused on the ride back, and remained confused during lunch. She just didn't understand how Markus could love Connor. She didn't have proof but intuition was enough for her and she was pretty sure she was right. Did Connor like Markus too? Were they a couple? Or maybe, like Kara and Luther, they loved each other without doing all that couple stuff that other people did. It was also possible that only Markus behaved like that.</p><p>It was weird thinking that the deviant leader could be in love with anyone, but it was even weirder to think that that someone could be the hunter. Or rather, the ex-hunter. He was so scary, how could anyone love him? He'd done bad things, very bad things, Alice knew that first-hand.</p><p>"What are you thinking about, Alice?" asked Kara.</p><p>Alice looked up at her. They were only the both of them because Luther worked the whole Saturday.</p><p>Kara smiled and gestured at her plate. "You've just been picking at it for the last five minutes. You look very deep in thought."</p><p>Alice put down her fork and said: "I think someone's in love with Connor."</p><p>Kara's eyes went round, and then she grinned. "Of all the things I expected you to say, this was not it."</p><p>"I saw it," insisted Alice. "Do you think it's normal for someone like him to be loved after what he did?"</p><p>Kara's smile disminished and she suddenly looked serious. "Well, he's a different person now, right? It's difficult to acknowledge that for us since we could've died because of him, but there are other people who are in the same situation as him." She glanced towards the door, then back at Alice. "You know how Luther suffers from his past. Don't you think Connor could be similar? Wouldn't you find it harsh towards Luther if someone told him he didn't deserve to be loved by you or me because of all the androids Zlatko made him kill?"</p><p>Alice looked back down at her plate, unsure.</p><p>"He apologized to us the other day and looked genuinely sorry," continued Kara. "I believe him when he says he wouldn't try to hurt us again."</p><p>"I just think he's scary," murmured Alice. "He was so fast when he ran after us, he didn't even hesitate about going through traffic like us. And when he grabbed you, I really thought you were going to die right there in the middle of the cars, and I was on the other side and I couldn't do <em>anything</em>."</p><p>Kara reached out to stroke the back of Alice's head. "Hey, it's okay, Alice. That's all in the past now."</p><p>"But I can't forget it," Alice told her. There was a lump in her throat.</p><p>"I know," softly said Kara. "It's the same for me... And even Connor. He looked relieved to see us alive so I don't think he ever forgot about us either. It's just another thing we need to move past."</p><p>"What if we can't?"</p><p>"We will," confidently said Kara. Alice wasn't sure if that confidence was true or if it was just there to make her feel better, and she wasn't sure that she'd be able to see Connor as anything else but that terrifying machine on the highway.</p><p> </p><p>Alice started going to school on that Monday. They all seemed used to have androids and humans alike in the building and they were all mixed up. She did notice that the higher grades were all human which made sense considering YK500s could only pass one or two classes before resetting. Alice attracted a lot of attention because she was the new kid, and luckily none of it was bad. She wasn't in the same class as Anna but they could meet up during breaks. Alice had brought Foxy with her because she got terribly anxious whenever she was all on her own, but he was hidden in her bag since Anna had told her that no one in her grade brought a plushie along.</p><p>Living in Detroit wasn't so bad once a daily routine was in place. Alice would get dropped off at school by Kara on her way to work in the morning, where she'd meet up with her friends and go say hi to Anna. Then they had lessons with their teacher Miss Sally, who was a lady android with prettily slanted eyes and dark hair. At lunch break Alice would go sit at Anna's table with two of her human friends, Joanna and Darcy, as well as her one other android friend, David. He looked like Thomas if Thomas had been <em>extremely</em> calm. Alice had been surprised at first that no one was making any reproaches to the androids for consuming they didn't need. It was just as Luther had said: YK500s ate because they could, and no one was stopping them. She didn't understand but felt less guilty now when she ate with the others. Luther had also been right about hunger not being as bad as usual if Alice ate when her programming told her to.</p><p>Then there were usually more lessons, and she'd finally get to go back home. Most of the time it was Kara who picked her up but sometimes she had shifts in the afternoon, so usually Alice went back to New Jericho with Anna, and Kara would pick her up there instead. Anna and Alice would either take the bus or walk depending on the weather and they liked checking the storefronts on the way there. Neither of them had any pocket money so looking at the displays was enough. Once, Alice was lucky enough to see a coyote digging in the trash in one of the alleys they'd walk by. She wanted to come closer but Anna told her it was probably a bad idea, and Alice had to admit that yes, it very probably was. </p><p>She spent less time in New Jericho during weekends once Kara made sure she wouldn't have to take shifts on Saturday, that way Alice could stay home with her on the first half of the weekend and with Luther on the second. Alice hadn't run into Ralph or Connor again because she hadn't ever stayed in the Butterfly Garden as long as she had the first time with Kara and Luther, and also because on the one occasion she'd noticed Ralph and Rupert approaching, she'd quickly left. It wasn't against Ralph, really; she just didn't feel comfortable around him.</p><p>Alice liked her life in Detroit much better than she had in Canada. Of course, she still had nightmares. So did Luther and Kara. Sometimes she thought about how they'd ran into her dad at the bus station and how she'd slipped her hand out of Kara's to face him. In that moment, a multitude of emotions had been running through her. She'd wanted to scream at him- why? Why? Why the pain? Why the punishments? Why the hatred?</p><p>She'd wanted to tell him she understood. All that time, she understood. She'd seen the grief in him and she'd seen how brittle and insane it had made him, and the drugs only made it worse. In that moment, at the bus stop, she'd hesitated to reach out to him- if she did, would he understand her pain just like she'd understood his? Would he understand all the horror and distress he'd forced her to endure, alone, small, unable to escape? Would he love her?</p><p>Kara had taken her hand. Even as she'd stumbled away, Alice had been unable to tear her gaze away from the man who'd made her his daughter.</p><p>Of course Alice sometimes thought about how close her dad's home really was and how easy it would be to take a bus there. Of course she wondered if he'd ever really apologize to her instead of feeling sorry for himself and blaming her for everything. Of course she wondered if he'd smile at her, accept her, hug her, love her. But he'd never changed his attitude towards her before, so Alice knew, deep down, that her dad would never change it at all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>- 11/09/2020 -</p><p>Alice: Why does everyone want me to make friends with my PTSD personified</p><p>Hey pumpkin!<br/>Children can be unintentionally mean simply out of bewilderment so don't be mad at Alice for saying such harsh things about Connor, she's doing her best to understand and figure things out. I mean yeah, "why would Connor deserve to be loved?" is a super cold thing to say, but to Alice, Connor's genuinely like one of those storybook monsters (except he's real and tried to kill her and her mom once) so of course she's gonna lack empathy at first.<br/>Don't worry though, she gets better.</p><p>Here are some thoughts on Alice and Todd's relationship and the bus station scene, right over <a href="https://lost-tanuki.tumblr.com/post/628990851015737344/dbh-the-problem-with-alice-and-todds-bus">here</a>. </p><p>Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Once A Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Miss Sally liked making school interesting and Alice found herself lucky to have a teacher that so often tried to make things fun. She'd been signed up just in time to be part of a field trip two weeks later and now she was sitting in the third row of the classroom, listening to Miss Sally explain that they'd be getting on a school bus in twenty minutes and that everyone had to be on their best behavior. The teacher checked that everyone had brought lunch and then she went to get some packs from the lunchroom for those who hadn't. Alice was very excited not only because she'd never gone on a field trip in her life, but also because they were visiting a manufacturing facility for toys.</p><p>When the school bus rolled up to the front of the school, Alice stuck very close to Anna so she'd be sure to have a seat next to her. Once a spot was victoriously acquired next to her best friend, Alice called for her other friends and waved at David to hurry up through the window- he was one of the last to board, he didn't like getting caught up in crowds. Luckily Joanna had managed to keep a seat for him without a problem. Alice suspected that Joanna had a crush on David. She never said anything about it but she had a feeling it would be sad when David's knowledge would be reset and he would have to stay back in the grade while Joanna grew up and moved on. At least they wouldn't forget each other.</p><p>Travelling in a bus on a field trip was a lot more fun than usual. Alice didn't think about November once, because there was always someone talking to her or playing games with her. They drove for about forty minutes and she was almost disappointed when they stopped. The children all climbed off the bus and gathered in the parking lot in front of the huge buildings. Alice tipped her head back while Miss Sally loudly called for her slowest students to hurry up and stay grouped, and her gaze followed the wide plumes of smoke that billowed out the top of several of the factories. She tried to guess which one they'd be heading to, but in the end Miss Sally and her friend teacher Mister Dan led all of them way off to the side towards smaller facilities. They weren't as close as the big ones and they had to walk for ten minutes before reaching it.</p><p>Alice looked around her. The surroundings beyond the metal fence that closed them in the factory compound were pretty empty, there was a construction field and some houses here and there that were a little run-down. She lifted her gaze and noticed the wide overarching belt of highway from far away. Then she looked back at the factories, and it suddenly hit her that she wasn't a stranger to this place. When she'd been sitting in her dad's backyard so he wouldn't find her, she'd seen these plumes of smoke rising in the sky while listening to the drone of cars driving by from below. They weren't far from her home- her old home. Her dad's home.</p><p>Alice's mood took a dip and she couldn't quite concentrate on all the things they were seeing and everything the teachers were saying as they read off a flyer that had been given to them at the entrance. There were big mechanized equipments and the other kids watched the assembly lines with fascination, but Alice couldn't be excited anymore. She just felt empty and worried and nervous. Anna noticed, but because Alice wouldn't answer her like usual, she ended up leaving her alone. While the teachers showed them the steps the raw materials took to become their final product, Alice lingered at the back of the group deep in thought. </p><p>She knew it would be a bad idea to go. She wasn't on her own and Miss Sally had made it clear that no one should wander off, and if they noticed she was gone she'd get in trouble, and maybe her dad wouldn't even care and maybe he'd be dangerous. But she wanted to go. She wanted to know if he'd changed since that night at the bus station, if he'd understood what she'd wanted him to understand.</p><p>At lunch, Anna came to sit next to her. "Hey, Alice."</p><p>Alice looked at her. "Hi."</p><p>Anna unpacked the sandwich they'd been given at the orphanage and took a bite, then gestured at Alice's. "You're not eating?"</p><p>Alice shook her head. "I'm not hungry."</p><p>"What's wrong?"</p><p>"..."</p><p>Anna wiped her hand on her dress and gently shook her shoulder. "Hey, Aliceee. Hello?"</p><p>Alice pushed away her food and brought her knees up to her chest, crossing her arms over them. "Nothing."</p><p>Anna scrutinized her and declared: "You're acting really weird today."</p><p>Alice just shrugged. Anna took a few more bites. Neither of them spoke until Anna got up and went to join the others. David looked over at Alice, a questioning look on his face, and Alice turned her head away so she wouldn't have to see any of her friends. She just didn't feel like talking to anyone. She didn't know how she'd get out of this place without getting noticed. Maybe she'd have to wait until they got back to the bus? But they'd count the students before leaving so they'd notice if someone was missing right before boarding the bus.</p><p>Miss Sally came to check on her too and obtained about the same response Anna had gotten. The teacher asked Alice if she was hurting anywhere and then touched her forehead just to make sure this wasn't some simulated sickness her programming had decided to trigger, but there was no sign of it being the case and Miss Sally figured out that Alice was just in a bad mood. She tried to cheer her up and Alice understood that if she kept looking unhappy, the teacher would probably stick to her for the rest of the day. That wasn't something she wanted if she planned on running away at some point. So Alice smiled and pretended everything was fine, just like Kara did. It worked.</p><p>The tour of the facility ended and Alice still didn't really know how she'd pull this off. It was while Miss Sally and Mister Dan were doing the first headcount in the lobby that Alice noticed the restroom. She looked over at her group of friends who were talking and laughing together and decided that they probably wouldn't notice if she was gone for a bit since she hadn't talked to them at all during the afternoon. Alice waited for the headcount to be done before slipping in the restroom. She listened to the footsteps retreat and then waited a little bit longer before stepping out in the lobby again. Everyone was gone and the coast was clear.</p><p>Her legs felt jittery as she cautiously walked through the big doors of the entrance. She could see the crowd of her classmates from afar so she took another path, one that went behind the factories. When she was sure that she was out of sight, she started running. For a place with such big buildings and so many workers, not many of them were outside. Alice managed to avoid the three adults she encountered on her way out. She found a different exit than the one the bus had come through just as she heard voices starting to shout, and she realized they'd noticed her disappearance. Luckily for her, the exit she found was condemned for vehicles but not for someone her size, as there was a small gap torn into the metal fence. Alice wriggled her way through and ripped one of her sleeves on the pointy bits in the process, but she managed to get out of the compound and stood there on the sidewalk feeling a bit of everything- relief, nervousness, pride, and mostly she knew she'd probably get in very big trouble for this. She started running anyway.</p><p>Alice was headed for the highway belt but it was further away than she'd first thought. She also didn't like that she had to walk down the deserted streets because that meant anyone could see her. Sometimes cars whizzed by, and once she saw a police car, but she managed to hide behind a big trash bin before they saw her. She was even more wary of her surroundings after that. Alice could run for far longer periods than any human child, it was one of the advantages of being an android; she didn't get tired as easily. Still, her legs were small, and the streets were wide, and by the time she reached the towering highway arch she'd been at it for a long while. She didn't really know what time it was exactly- Anna was usually the one to tell her that with her watch- but she knew she had to hurry before the people looking for her started raking through the streets beyond those that surrounded the factories.</p><p>Only, Alice was lost. The highway was landmark she'd often seen from her backyard but she'd never actually gone out of her house and walked up to it before. She didn't know which way she was supposed to go to find her old address. She was also getting scared of actually going through with her plan because it was her dad she was going to see. Todd. Her dad who'd never shown her that he could change. But Alice hoped, she hoped with the naive optimism of a child who wanted to see that her dream could become a reality, so Alice continued pushing forward despite it all.</p><p>She didn't see her house. </p><p>She walked down roads that she didn't recognize as the minutes wore on. </p><p>She realized that she wouldn't find her house like this.</p><p>Eventually she gave up and sat down on the side of the road. Alice felt sad and disappointed in herself, but also a little bit relieved that she wouldn't have walk up to her old house and face her dad for now. She pulled her backpack away from her shoulders and around to her front where she opened it to retrieve Foxy. The sandwich winked at her from the bottom of the bag but she ignored it. Alice closed her backpack and hugged her fox while she tried to think of an alternative to her plan. She could always try to ask for someone's help but so far she hadn't crossed paths with anyone at all. It was the middle of the day so the adults were probably all at work. It would've been dangerous talking to strangers, anyway.</p><p>Alice was distracted so she didn't notice the car coming down the street at first. When the sound of tires rolling down asphalt reached her ears, her head jerked up and she noticed it was the police. Alice hastily got up to hide again so they wouldn't take her back to school or home just yet, but even if she found a spot behind an abandoned vehicle, the patrol car still stopped close to her. Doors opened and the neat sounds of shoes scuffing the ground rang out in the empty street.</p><p>"Alice?" said a male voice she didn't recognize. </p><p>Alice didn't make any noise in hopes that they would just go away.</p><p>"We were told you were missing. I'm an officer, okay? I'm going to bring you back." The footsteps came closer and she knew there was no way out. The officer appeared from around the broken car and when he noticed her, he smiled and crouched. "Hi. I'm Officer Wilson."</p><p>Alice gauged whether she'd be able to run away from him. She didn't want to go back yet when she hadn't even found her old house.</p><p>"What happened? Did someone take you or did you run away by yourself?"</p><p>She stared at him distrustfully.</p><p>"Hey, I'm not that scary, am I?" he joked. </p><p>Alice backed up a bit.</p><p>"Hey, no, no, I'm a good guy, I'm with the police, see?" Officer Wilson slowly brought his hand to his hip and tapped on the shiny badge clipped to his belt. His smile was warm and encouraging and he didn't sound mad at her. "You can tell me what happened. You're not in trouble with me, I just want to bring you back home."</p><p>Alice tightened her hold on Foxy. The officer hadn't made a move towards her and was just waiting, so after a while she quietly admitted: "... I ran away."</p><p>"Your teachers got very worried about you, you know? Your mommy too."</p><p>Alice felt a pang of guilt when she thought about what Kara would say when she'd see her again.</p><p>"Come on." Officer Wilson reached out a hand just as he'd showed his badge, with measured movements like he didn't want to spook her, and waved her closer. "This isn't a good place for little kids."</p><p>Alice hesitated a small while longer before giving in. She didn't really have a choice. She straightened and adjusted the straps of her backpack on her shoulders before taking a step forward, but she stopped there. He lowered his hand when it was clear she wouldn't take it and remained crouching in the same spot.</p><p>"Now, Alice, I'm with a collegue and he told me you didn't like him that much. That's why I'm telling you now, okay?"</p><p>Alice started at him, puzzled.</p><p>"Connor's in the car too but that's just the way police partners work."</p><p>Alice's eyes widened.</p><p>"We're only giving you a ride back, you won't even have to talk to him if you don't want to," quickly said Officer Wilson.</p><p>"But-" Alice stopped herself. She didn't know what she'd been about to argue. </p><p>"He told me what happened between you two so I know you're a bit scared to be stuck in the same car as him, but Connor's an officer just like me now, protecting people, protecting androids and humans. He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met," Officer Wilson assured her with a comforting smile. "It'll be fine, I promise. It's just be for a few minutes and then you'll be back home safe and sound."</p><p>Alice hesitated then inched closer so she could warily look over the broken pieces of the vehicle she'd been hiding behind. Sure enough, there was another person in the patrol car. </p><p>"He didn't come out because he didn't want to scare you," Officer Wilson told her. "You don't even have to look at him if you don't want to."</p><p>Alice looked up at him. "Can't you ask someone else to come get me now that you know where I am?"</p><p>Officer Wilson let out a light chuckle. "Sorry missy, but patrol cars aren't taxis and we can't waste time waiting for someone to come and get you."</p><p>"You can go. I'll just wait here," suggested Alice.</p><p>The officer raised somewhat impressed eyebrows. "You know, kids don't usually try to negociate with us."</p><p>Alice looked away. </p><p>He got up and held out his hand again. "All right, follow me. Your mom's waiting for you."</p><p>She squeezed her fox closer to her chest but in the end her guilt towards Kara won out over her fear of Connor and she obediently started walking towards the car. Officer Wilson once again retrieved his ignored hand and followed suit. His long strides brought him to the door before she reached it and he opened it for her. Alice wordlessly climbed in the backseat without lifting her gaze. The person in the passenger seat stayed quiet. The door slammed shut. She quickly glanced up, recognized Connor's profile, and let her gaze drop just as fast. Officer Wilson took his place in the driver's seat and started up the engine.</p><p>"So, Alice. Where do you live?"</p><p>It took her a second to remember, but when she told him the officer immediately nodded. </p><p>"I know where that is." The car glided back onto the road and Officer Wilson looked at Alice in the rearview mirror. "Want to tell us why you ran off like that?"</p><p>Alice looked out the window and shrugged.</p><p>"Was the factory that boring?" joked the officer.</p><p>"No."</p><p>There was a beat of silence where Officer Wilson waited for her to say more, but she didn't. Eventually he said: "Okay, well. I don't know what went through your head but you should explain what happened to your parents, okay? My job's to get you back home right now so I'm not going to force you to tell me the truth or anything like that. Just don't do that kind of thing again. It's dangerous out here, you know?"</p><p>"I know," said Alice. </p><p>"Okay, good."</p><p>She'd hoped he'd stop talking because she didn't want to talk herself, but now things felt tense when Officer Wilson was quiet. Thankfully the officer spoke again.</p><p>"Hey, Connor, do you think we'll still have time to get those donuts?"</p><p>Connor kept staring straight ahead. "There's a shop on the same street, you might have the time if you hurry and no one else is ordering."</p><p>Alice was surprised, again, to hear that smooth and calm tone. She'd never been able to imagine his voice any other way than those accusing shouts she'd heard from afar, muffled by the rain and the heavy atmosphere of the storm, mixed with hers and Kara's fleeing foosteps, hidden beneath layers of traffic sounds. She didn't know how to feel about the fact that Connor's speaking voice was nice to listen to. It really would've been completely unrecognizable to her had she not seen him talk two times already since her return to Detroit.</p><p>"What if there's one person?" asked Officer Wilson.</p><p>"Then we'll probably be late to Captain Fowler's meeting."</p><p>Officer Wilson looked like he was thinking, and then he said: "Okay, Connor, be real with me. What's the probability the captain'll chew my- I mean, be mad at me for being late, considering I'll have a box of donuts as a potential peace offering?"</p><p>"I doubt the captain would accept a donut as compensation, Officer Wilson."</p><p>"Several donuts?"</p><p>"Still doubtful."</p><p>Officer Wilson sighed. "But I really feel like donuts right now. I'm hungry. And you didn't give me a probability."</p><p>"There's a 2.5% chance Captain Fowler would feel more amenable towards you for your tardiness if you brought donuts for him. It's worth noting that there's a 100% chance he won't be made angry by our tardiness if you don't buy donuts and we arrive on time."</p><p>"This is a difficult choice," mused the officer.</p><p>"It really isn't."</p><p>Alice had found herself drawn in the conversation despite herself and she said: "I have a sandwich I didn't eat if you're hungry, mister."</p><p>Officer Wilson's gaze flickered up to the rearview mirror and he looked surprised by her intervention, and then she saw his eyes crinkle. "That's sweet, missy, but I can't accept it. Real sweet of you though, thank you." Then he turned to look at Connor and teased: "Hey, don't you make killer sandwiches? Hank told me you made some for him once."</p><p>Connor still didn't turn his head. "And what about it?"</p><p>"I won't buy the donuts if you can make a sandwich with what we have in the break room after the meeting."</p><p>Connor was silent for a bit and then said: "Fine, I'll do my best with what's in the fridge."</p><p>"Deal," happily said Officer Wilson.</p><p>It was weird seeing Connor in that dark blue DPD jacket, sitting in the same car as him with the music on, hearing his partner banter with him from time to time like they were friends. Connor never spoke about or directly to Alice and would let Officer Wilson do it instead. He never looked at her either. It was like they weren't even in the same car and Alice wasn't sure what to make of that. Was he really so aware that she was scared of him? Was he really just... trying his best not to scare her more? It was confusing to Alice. She never would've thought that the deviant hunter would be so considerate towards someone he'd tracked down before. As she sat in the back of the car and listened to the two men's conversation, Alice realized that someone other than her would've found it plausible for Connor to be the nice person Officer Wilson had told her he was. </p><p>He sounded so... normal.</p><p>They deposited Alice in front of her home where Kara was already waiting. Officer Wilson's promise that nothing bad was going to happen in the car had been fulfilled and Alice felt better coming out of it than she had going in, though that didn't last. The look on Kara's face made Alice feel very, very regretful all of a sudden. Officer Wilson came out of the car and so did Connor, and in the moment Alice felt Connor standing behind her she rushed to Kara's side out of reflex and hid behind her. Her gaze finally met Connor's over Kara's hip. He quickly averted his, but Alice had seen the look in them and it made her unsure.</p><p>Could Connor feel hurt?</p><p>It had only been for a moment but the longer she stared at him, the more she grew convinced that Connor was actively avoiding her stare.</p><p>Had it made him feel bad?</p><p>Even though she was still scared, Alice felt somewhat at fault. He hadn't insisted to make her feel at ease with him, after all. He hadn't tried to convince her that he was a nice person now, he'd just said that he wouldn't hurt her. All the other times she'd heard that Connor was a good guy had never come from Connor himself. Maybe he'd been hoping that Alice would be less wary of him after some time. Maybe he'd been hoping that she'd come to that conclusion herself instead of trying to convince her, because he knew there was no way of convincing her.</p><p>Kara's hand was tight around Alice's shoulder and she didn't look like she cared that Connor was here with Officer Wilson. "Where was she?"</p><p>"In the industrial district, not far from the factory they were visiting with the teachers. She ran away."</p><p>"Why?" Kara sounded very stressed. Alice knew it was her fault.</p><p>"I don't know, ma'am. She wouldn't tell us." Officer Wilson looked at Alice. "But that's not surprising considering she doesn't know us all that well. I'm sure she'll tell you."</p><p>Kara looked down at Alice too. Alice stared at the ground and nodded.</p><p>"All right, my partner and I have to get going. Both of you have a nice evening," Officer Wilson said with a little salute.</p><p>"Thank you," said Kara. "You too."</p><p>Officer Wilson went back to the car and so did Connor. He hadn't said anything at all and he didn't look back at either Kara or Alice, which she found a little disappointing for some reason.</p><p>Kara pulled her towards the building and sternly said: "Inside, now."</p><p>Alice quietly obeyed. Kara didn't say anything during the ride in the elevator but she opened the door to their appartment with a tad too much force and slammed it behind her once they were both inside.</p><p>"<em>What</em> were you <em>thinking?</em>"</p><p>Alice quickly turned around to face her. She hadn't let go of Foxy a single second during the trip back and she held him close like he would protect her, even though Alice knew Foxy had never ever been able to before. </p><p>"I'm sorry, Kara," she apologized in a small voice.</p><p>Kara stayed where she was and made no move towards Alice. Her hand gestured towards the window in a large, angry sweeping movement. "Do you have <em>any idea</em> how dangerous that was?!"</p><p>"I know!" cried Alice. "But we were so close and I thought I could go see him and I wanted him to apologize to me!"</p><p>Kara's features froze and her arm dropped back to her side. "...What?"</p><p>Alice could feel the tears pressing up behind her eyes and slowly pooling along her lower lashes. "I wanted him to apologize to me. He never apologized to me. He only said he loved me when <em>he</em> felt sorry but he never <em>said</em> sorry."</p><p>"You went to see <em>Todd?</em>" murmured Kara.</p><p>Alice wiped at her eyes. "I'm sorry, I am. I thought, I dunno, I thought I could. I thought he'd change his mind. I thought when he saw me he'd admit that he was wrong."</p><p>"Oh, Alice." Kara's voice broke and she came closer, her steps careful and soft, and she slowly kneeled in front of her. "Alice..."</p><p>Tears fell heavily from Alice's eyes and splashed on the floor between them. She'd given up on trying to dry them. "I'm sorry," she said in a small voice. "I didn't mean to make you angry."</p><p>"I'm not-" Kara stopped, sighed. "I was very worried about you. I'm sorry for raising my voice, I was scared and I didn't understand why you'd done something so reckless. I understand now." She reached out and tucked a strand of Alice's hair behind her ear, then tenderly cradled the side of her face in her palm. "Don't try to go back there again, sweetie. It's much too dangerous."</p><p>"But... But I wanted to know," insisted Alice.</p><p>Kara pressed her lips together and then said: "We'll go together then. Okay? No more running off on your own. It'll be much safer if you go with me and Luther."</p><p>"Really?" asked Alice. "But won't you find it scary?"</p><p>Kara smiled at her. "That's why Luther will be there too."</p><p> </p><p>They went that very Sunday, in the evening, once Kara had finished her afternoon shift. Luther lingered behind them as Alice hefted herself on the tip of her toes and rang the doorbell. There was no answer. She rang again. They waited in silence and listened for any sign that Todd was coming to them, but there was none. Eventually Kara tried the handle and found the door unlocked.</p><p>"Todd?" she called out. She didn't get a reply.</p><p>They cautiously walked in and Alice was hit by the smell of residual smoke from days-old consumption of red ice. It brought many painful memories surging forth and she pressed up against Kara who tightened her hold around her shoulders. Luther settled a reassuring hand on Kara's back and then walked past them to look around. He returned to the entrance moments later.</p><p>"It's empty."</p><p>Alice stared at him. "What?"</p><p>Luther said in a low, gentle voice: "I don't think he lives here anymore."</p><p>Her mouth opened and closed, opened again to ask: "You mean... He left?"</p><p>Neither Kara nor Luther answered. Alice slowly lowered her gaze to the dirty floor. </p><p>"But he never said sorry to me."</p><p>Kara crouched down to her level and pulled Alice close without a word. Alice clenched her fists at her side. She felt cheated. Powerless.</p><p>"He never said <em>sorry</em> to me."</p><p>Normally Kara would have said something but Alice could tell that no one knew what to say. They didn't know where her father had gone. They wouldn't be able to find him. He'd left and Alice would never be able to confront him about all the horrible things he'd done.</p><p>"He never-" Her voice wavered on a sob. "He never said sorry..."</p><p>Luther came closer and gently hugged the both of them. Alice started to cry in the shield of her parents' arms. It was like a storm inside of her, terrible and lonely, and her insides all ripped up. Suddenly she was wailing that it wasn't fair and that <em>he'd never ever said sorry, not even once</em>.  Kara held her tight and rocked her softly through it but Alice only felt despair. Alice had never cried so loudly. She'd never felt so hurt. It was so <em>unfair.</em> The cold squalls of grief whipped through her mind and pelted her heart so violently that she couldn't stand on her own anymore. Her fingers twisted in the soft fabric of Kara's clothes and Alice buried her wet face in her mom's chest. She cried for a very, very long time in the arms that held her. Alice's muffled sobs became quieter when exhaustion started setting in but she still felt like everything inside of her had been torn apart to pieces. </p><p>It was Luther who was the first to move. He picked her up off the ground and let her hide and sniffle against his shoulder while he helped Kara stand up with his other hand.</p><p>"It's okay, Kara," Alice heard him say. "It's okay."</p><p>Kara didn't answer.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>- 18/09/2020 -</p><p>Kara: I sure wish I could find Life Stain Remover ™ because Todd is the kind that won't come out no matter how desperately I scrub</p><p>Hey pumpkin! I hope you liked this slice of angst pie. Poor Alice, poor Kara, poor Connor.<br/>- Officer Wilson you sweet sweet man, he's so nice. I really enjoyed writing the dynamic between them. I like to think that Connor gets along really well with him and especially once they become official colleagues. I'm just saying, Officer Wilson has a great sense of humor and Connor loves his jokes even if he doesn't very explicitly show it<br/>Btw, to avoid confusion I'll clarify: this is Officer Wilson who Connor first meets at the DPD when he's told that Hank isn't there yet, not Officer M. Wilson whose life he saves!<br/>- I think we should only have kind teachers like Miss Sally<br/>- FUCK YOU TODD</p><p>Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Stranger Danger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>cw: child abuse, kidnapping<br/>Yeah, shit hits the fan in this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alice didn't have to see Connor or stay in the same spot as him again during the months that followed their encounter near the factories, because she didn't get into trouble anymore. She didn't often go to New Jericho, either, since about two weeks after she'd started school she'd made friends with a boy called Karim who lived not far from her home. Now she walked the way there with him in the afternoons instead of going with Anna to New Jericho where she used to wait for Kara to pick her up, but Anna and Alice were best friends even despite that change. Sometimes Kara or Luther would bring Alice to New Jericho and she took advantage of it to go see Thomas and Anna and Ben. If she ever crossed paths with Connor, she just avoided him.</p><p>It wasn't that she disliked or resented him for what he'd done anymore. She understood that he hadn't been in complete control of his actions and that he'd been following orders, just like Luther had been following Zlatko's orders to catch fleeing deviants, just like Kara had been cooking for Alice and doing laundry and cleaning the house without recognizing her when she'd first come back. Connor wasn't evil. He wasn't the monster Alice had thought he was, months ago, when she'd encountered him again in the Butterfly Garden. But Alice still got nightmares and nothing changed the fact that the hunter of her memories had Connor's appearance. Even when Anna and Thomas tried to convince her that he was a really good friend, Alice felt uncomfortable and just wanted to change the subject. She couldn't help it. Connor may have been regretful but he was still scary.</p><p>Things were going well overall. Kara and Luther didn't have as hard a time as they had in Canada earning money and finding the time to relax, and Alice had friends and interesting things to do and didn't have to stay cooped up in a house all day. She even ate normally now, without feeling guilty about it or overthinking the purpose of that action. It made Kara happy. They'd talked about Alice's wish to have her YK500-specific functions turned off, but they'd talked about it with Lisa and then with the leader called Josh. Lisa thought it wasn't normal for Alice to be so fixated on that kind of thing and Josh had provided psychological help. Sometimes it still happened for Alice to suddenly want to refuse food and drinks but Josh said it was normal for that to happen as long as it didn't last too long. Apparently it was because her father had forced her to be unable to eat that she even considered eating superfluous, and because he constantly blamed her for everything that she felt guilty for no reason, and Alice supposed it made sense. It all sounded a bit complicated to her.</p><p>Luckily, Luther seemed to understand. Kara... not so much. Some of the things Josh said seemed to fly right over her head sometimes. That was why in the end Josh also started seeing her for her own sessions from time to time. Alice had been worried for Kara at first that maybe she was somehow sick, but then she'd felt reassured because it meant that all those times she'd felt that something was amiss with the way Kara acted- as if Alice was blameless, as if Luther was too good, as if she was the only one who needed to and could do more for their family- it wasn't unfounded. Kara really did need help, and now she was getting better thanks to Josh. Alice herself felt lighter as a result and was less afraid of missteps in her conversations with Kara about her YK500 nature and their past.</p><p>School was an amazing way to spend time and it was a whole other world in itself, though Alice wasn't always a fan of the way they were taught and the behavior they were supposed to have towards other classmates and teachers. For example, she wasn't allowed to call someone stupid if they were being stupid. And she couldn't tell a teacher that they were wrong because that made a teacher angry. Inexplicably, some students got in trouble for nothing while others could make trouble and were told nothing. Alice had adapted to these nonsense rules pretty quickly, as well as she could. She generally didn't get singled out despite her early misadventure during the field trip so it wasn't that big of an issue for her. She was pretty proud of herself for doing okay on assignments and she only sometimes got teased by the four boys in her class that were the main troublemakers.</p><p>That was until one day, she opened her bag to put away her things and found Foxy gone. Her first reaction was to stare at the inside of her bag for a good five seconds, then to frantically dig through it, and finally she looked up in alarm. That was when she noticed the two boys in the entrance watching her with matching grins. Alice stood up and shouted: "Where is he?"</p><p>"Oh, baby Alice lost her plushie," mocked one of them.</p><p>"Give him back!" Alice lunged at them but they were already running away cackling. She was going to chase after them but then noticed her remaining classmates were looking at her funny and she faltered. Two girls whispered to each other while eyeing her and Alice suddenly felt like everyone was making fun of her for having brought her fox to school.</p><p>Humiliation washed out her anger and she just stood there, unsure what to do. How was she supposed to find Foxy? What if they'd taken him with them? What if she never found him again? The thought made her start to panic and she hugged herself.</p><p>"Is she gonna cry?" murmured a girl, hushed and excited, uncaring that she felt bad.</p><p>Someone else shouted: "Shut up!" </p><p>Alice looked up in surprise and she saw Anna with her hands proudly set on her hips, facing the two girls with a reproving expression. Karim was glaring at them too while David came closer to Alice. </p><p>"Are you okay?" he asked her.</p><p>Alice didn't know what to answer. Foxy had been a secret between her and Anna, she didn't want to admit that losing him was this serious for her. "Yeah." She quickly closed her bag.</p><p>"Do you need help finding it?"</p><p>She looked up at David, confused. She'd expected at least one of her friends to make fun of her.</p><p>"We can try to help you," he insisted when she didn't answer.</p><p>Karim appeared next to them, closely followed by Anna. "Yeah, it's fine if I go home a bit late."</p><p>"Me too," said Anna.</p><p>Alice suddenly wanted to cry even more but she held it back and just gratefully nodded. </p><p> </p><p>They didn't find Foxy even with Miss Sally's help when she was told about what had happened. He wasn't in the trash bins or under a desk or hidden in a bookshelf and Alice was worried that maybe the two boys had just thrown him out, but Miss Sally promised that it would be okay. She said she'd call the boys' parents to fix the problem and that Alice would get her toy back by tomorrow. Alice hoped the teacher was right. She didn't want to spend a single night without Foxy, and the thought of not having him for longer scared her. She didn't want to be alone in bed like the first days in Canada, and Foxy had helped keep some of the nightmares at bay. He'd definitely made waking up easier.</p><p>She and Karim went home later than usual because of that incident but it was still day so they didn't need Miss Sally to ask their parents to come and get them at school. The sky was like diluted orange juice with a few pale clouds floating on its surface. Alice didn't feel like talking as she walked down the street with her friend. She felt very anxious without her fox's familiar weight in her backpack and she couldn't stop thinking about how her night would go without him. Most of all, she worried that Miss Sally <em>wouldn't</em> fix the problem. It had been bad enough losing her first fox and Alice didn't want to lose another.</p><p>"Alice?"</p><p>She looked at Karim and he smiled at her like he was trying to cheer her up. "Hey, if you get in trouble for losing your stuff, I'll tell your parents what happened so they can't say you're lying."</p><p>"They wouldn't say that."</p><p>"Oh." Karim looked puzzled. "So then why are you worried?"</p><p>Alice shrugged. She didn't want to look like more of a baby than she already had today, and if she started saying that she relied on her plushie nearly all the time and that not having him with her made her this nervous, then no one in her class would take her seriously. </p><p>"Hey, can I ask you a question?" said Karim.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Why did you bring it to school?"</p><p>Alice defensively frowned at him. "Because, okay? Mind your own business."</p><p>Karim frowned back. "I'm just asking, you don't have to be mean about it."</p><p>Alice was about to answer when they heard loud voices coming from the alley they were going to walk past. Both children had been on the verge of arguing but their natural curiosity distracted them from the imminent conflict and they slowed down. Karim and her only had the time to hesitate between looking in the alley or ignoring whatever was happening when someone said: "Woah, wai-"</p><p>And then there was a gunshot. It echoed loudly in the street and Karim startled next to Alice, but Alice just froze. She half-expected Zlatko and Luther to appear right there. Even as she heard frantic footsteps and yelling coming out of the alley she couldn't move, even when Karim tugged on her wrist she couldn't run, and Alice's hand slipped out of the boy's grasp when she tripped and fell.</p><p>Then there was a hand gripping her by the collar and she was brutally jerked upright. She let out a scream of shock and fear and saw Karim standing just a few feet away, terror painting every one of his features. For a second that lasted forever, Karim and Alice stared at each other. Then Karim turned and ran.</p><p>"Shoot him!" said the voice of the man who was holding Alice.</p><p>The person next to her spat: "I'm not gonna shoot a <em>kid!</em>"</p><p>"He saw us!"</p><p>"They all saw us, who gives a fuck?"</p><p>"He's an <em>android</em>, dumbass, he'll show our faces to the police!"</p><p>"Oh, <em>shit.</em>" </p><p>Alice saw a big hand holding a gun rise next to her. It was trained on Karim's back.</p><p>"No!" she yelled. Her foot smacked the man's arm and the gunshot went awry. She had the time to see Karim skid around a corner and disappear.</p><p>The relief that she'd prevented any harm to come to her friend was short-lived. Alice suddenly felt her body lurch and her short scream was cut off when her side slammed against the pavement. Her limbs blindly flailed around when she immediately tried to pull herself up. Her fingers scrabbled at the hard surface and her knees scraped against the ground in her desperate crawl, but the hand picked her up again by the handle of her backpack. Her feet lifted off the ground and the man shook her violently in the air.</p><p>"You little bitch-"</p><p>"Wait, hold up," intervened the other man.</p><p>Alice was dazed. She distantly felt her body get pitched backwards and her butt unceremoniously hit the cement, which jolted her back to her senses. It took her a moment to make out her surroundings again. They were further down the alley, her backpack had slipped off her shoulders and was lying on the ground next to her, and now the two adults were crouching in front of her and a hand was holding onto her ankle. She was immediately frightened by their appearance. One was thin and wiry and his clothes looked dirty, the other one was big and heavy and he was still holding the gun. Both had bloodshot eyes, sallow cheeks and waxy skin. And they smelled. Alice recognized it all, they looked and smelled just like her father.</p><p>She writhed in their grip. "No, let me go!"</p><p>That earned her a slap from the big man and she shrivelled up against the wall with a whimper.</p><p>"Shut up," he snapped.</p><p>"Dude, she's an android too, stop roughing her up. If we reset and sell her it's easy cash."</p><p>"You told me to kill the other one earlier."</p><p>"Cause he was running away! Look, we gotta move before that little fucker gets to the police."</p><p>They paused. Alice sniffled, curled up against the wall and holding onto her cheek, scared like she'd always been when her dad hit her. She didn't want to look at them.</p><p>"Gene will know what to do, let's bring her back."</p><p>"Right." </p><p>The man's other hand reached up to her face and Alice didn't have the time to react before he dug his fingers in either side of her face like pincers and jerked her upright. He pinned her beneath his arm, against his hip, and let go of her head to adjust his hold around her arms.</p><p>"No! No, let go!"</p><p>Alice fought back, wriggled like an eel to try and escape, but the arm only pressed harder against her stomach so she quickly stopped before he'd crush her. The hand came back to cover her mouth and squeezed hard.</p><p>"Don't move and don't make a sound," hissed the big man in her ear.</p><p>The world lurched when he started walking and Alice could do nothing at all as they carried her further down the alley. Her eyes caught sight of a slumped shape next to the wall and when she realized that there was blood splattered there she quickly squeezed them shut. She was terrified. What were they going to do with her? Would Karim know what to do? Would someone find her? The alleys they used to retreat were empty and there was no one in the street they walked in after a few turns. They reached a car and the thin man opened the trunk, and Alice tried to scream for help against the hand that was muffling her voice when they shoved her inside.</p><p>"No!" she managed to shout when the hand finally drew back, and she scrambled to desperately grab onto the side of the trunk. "No, please! Please let me go, pl-"</p><p>One of them kicked her in the face and she was thrown back, her head knocking against the bottom of the trunk. She rolled over again and tried to reach out but it was too late, the lid was already slamming shut on top of her. Darkness engulfed her. Alice felt panic flood her like acid but there was nothing she could do, and when she felt the engine start she frantically kicked and banged against the lid, shouting and screaming to be let out, but no one answered her pleas. She hoped that a passerby would hear her muffled shrieking but the car never stopped longer than a few shorts moments at a time, and no one touched the lid until the car halted for good a long while later and the driver cut the engine. Alice stilled and listened to doors opening and slamming shut, shoes scuffing against gravel, and then tensed just before the trunk clicked open. Alice leapt out into the sunlight and blindly clawed at the closest body.</p><p>"What the- Get her off me!"</p><p>Someone tried to pull her away and she took advantage of that to bite the person's arm.</p><p>"Ow, fuck!"</p><p>Alice received a hard blow to the side of the face that made her let go. No one was holding her up anymore. She caught herself badly on her left wrist and elbow and the back of her head collided with the end of the car.</p><p>"This little shit..."</p><p>"No, man, come on. Repairs mean less money."</p><p>Alice tried to ignore how wrong her face felt and she shakily pulled herself to her feet, but a big foot shoved at her side and she stumbled. </p><p>"You're not going anywhere," growled the big man. He was the one she'd bitten, she realized, and he was the one who'd punched her. His knuckles were irritated where he wrapped his fingers around her small arm. "Bite me again, and I'll knock your teeth out. I know a lot of people who'd be fine buying a little girl without teeth."</p><p>He chuckled darkly to himself and Alice didn't understand why he found himself funny, but she could tell from his tone of voice that she'd do better to comply for now. He dragged her along behind the other and they entered a big building. It looked empty, but neither of them stopped anywhere on the ground floor. The thin man swung open a big door and it revealed a flight of stairs which they started climbing. Alice was jostled along. Her face felt weird where it had been punched. Her dad had never hit her in the face so badly, not to the point of altering the sensations it registered. But it had happened to other parts of her body before and that was how Alice knew her face probably wouldn't easily repair itself.</p><p>The climb up the stairs was long and she often tripped because their strides were so long and her legs were so short. She had to catch herself on her bad wrist more than once and winced each time, because it only made it worse. </p><p>"<em>Move,</em>" hissed the man. "Such a pain in the ass."</p><p>Alice did her best to keep up, but it didn't really matter what she did because sometimes it felt like he tugged on her arm harder than he needed to on purpose. They reached what looked like the final landing and Alice was lead to one of the rooms. There was no explanation or anything like that. She just felt the hand tighten even more around her upper arm and then the big man viciously threw her inside like he would have a rag doll. Alice landed with a cry of shock on the side of her face that was already damaged, and by the time she managed to get back on her hands and knees they were already closing the door on her.</p><p>"Wait!"</p><p>Alice tried to run up to it but it was shut several seconds before she could reach it and she uselessly slammed against it. She hit it two times, three times.</p><p>"Let me out!"</p><p>She heard their footsteps draw further and further away, the heavy door to the stairs creak open and slam shut in turn. </p><p>"No, let me out, help!"</p><p>There were no sounds left to hear but her own breaths which soon hitched. No one was there but her. Alice felt a cold, tugging dread which forced her to sink to her knees in front of the door. She tipped her head back and stared up at it in blank disbelief. It was just like that time in the mansion. She didn't know what was worse, getting trapped in the small dark trunk of the car or being locked in this room like Zlatko had locked her in his. Alice didn't even have the knowledge that Kara was somewhere in this place, she didn't have the hope of being found.</p><p>A familiar fear ran through her circuits like sludge and Alice hastily got back to her feet to stumble in the corner of the room. It was the only thing she could do. The little girl pressed up in the space between the two walls and the only pieces of furniture in the room, an old dirty table and a rusty chair, and there she curled up into a ball. Alice stared at the door with wide eyes. She didn't know how long she had until she was sold just like the men had said. She didn't know if Kara even knew she was here. Luther was at work all day, so he probably wouldn't know before evening. Alice wished she at least had Foxy with her, but she didn't even know if she'd ever get him back.</p><p>She was scared. Alice realized she was shaking, and for some reason that was what made her start sobbing out loud. She tried her best to hold back her voice like she always did but it was too loud anyway. Alice cried and cried and muffled the noises she was making in the tear-soaked sleeve of her elbow.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>- 26/09/2020 -</p><p>Alice: Of course my life couldn't remain relatively okay for more than a handful of months<br/>Alice: What am I, a Whump Big Bang protagonist?</p><p>Hey pumpkin!<br/>- Josh is a very kind and helpful string bean and I love him very much. I definitely think the Canada Robot Family needs tons of therapy. Kara would probably have the most insidious form of trauma, I think.<br/>- Alice has the worst of luck. But then again, so does any character I write for, usually... eheheh.<br/>- I bet you're excited for a certain someone to come to the rescue. I am too! We're going to get around to Connor's POV next, and I hope you'll like it.</p><p>Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Make It Up To Her</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Connor and Hank had just gotten back from a crime scene at a drug den and the precinct was rather calm that evening. Hank let himself fall in his chair with a grunt of weary relief while Connor stood at his own desk taking off his black leather gloves. They weren't exactly useful since he was an android and androids didn't risk getting infected when they got cuts, but they were part of the uniform and Connor had his preferences.</p><p>Hank leaned in to use his mouse and muttered: "Don't wanna see another junkie for the rest of the night."</p><p>Connor folded his gloves and slipped them in his pocket, then absent-mindedly rubbed the side of his head. "She didn't get me that bad."</p><p>"I don't give a shit, there was no reason for her to attack you. And go get yourself checked out before you start acting concussed."</p><p>"Lieuten-"</p><p>"I know, don't start. I don't care. Your head can get messed up in other ways, so <em>go</em>." </p><p>Hank waved him away, and Connor gave in. </p><p>"All right." </p><p>He often gave in for this kind of thing because Hank was very persistent about his well-being even when there was really no cause to be alarmed. Markus was the same. In truth, all of Connor's friends lived by the mantra "better safe than sorry" when it came to Connor getting potentially damaged in any way considering how often it did end up being the case.</p><p>Connor moved away from his desk but he didn't go to the technician's right away. He wanted to see the traces left behind by the attack for himself and so he headed for the restroom first. Connor walked across the bullpen, past the break room and the observation room, and as he was about to step past the interrogation room he heard the muffled sounds of a commotion from within.</p><p>"No!" The door slid open and an AX400 appeared, her finger accusingly pointed at the officers that were following her out of the room. "You're all- You don't care! You <em>still</em> don't care!"</p><p>"Ma'am," started Officer Miller, "that's not the issue."</p><p>A few officers moved to see what was going on.</p><p>"It always <em>was!</em> Stop lying! If she was a human you'd already be turning the whole of Detroit upside-down to find her!" The android whirled around and caught sight of Connor who instantly recognized her to be the AX400 he'd seen in the Butterfly Garden. The one he'd chased across the highway. The kids had told him her name was Kara.</p><p>Her eyes widened and she staggered up to him. "You!" </p><p>Connor reflexively raised his hands to show that he meant no harm, but that didn't seem to matter to her. Kara lunged forward and fisted the front of his uniform, crying out: "You have to find her! You <em>owe it to us!</em>"</p><p>"Wait, hold up now," intervened Officer Miller, his hand reaching for her shoulder. </p><p>Kara avoided it with a quick side-step, alarm briefly flickering in her gaze. "Don't touch me!"</p><p>"You have to calm down," firmly told her Officer Chen, who'd just showed up behind them. "Making a scene in the middle of the precinct isn't going to make things go any faster."</p><p>"You don't understand," Kara pleaded with her and all the officers her gaze swept across. "She's all we have, we <em>need</em> her."</p><p>"I do understand," said Officer Miller. "I have kids too, and I understand why you're scared but we can't act immediately unless her friend comes here and tells us what he saw."</p><p>"She didn't run away. She didn't," Kara choked out, and then she suddenly collapsed against Connor like she'd lost all her strength. Tears streamed down her face. "Alice... My Alice..."</p><p>Connor cautiously grabbed her shoulders to steady her as she clung onto his uniform and sobbed. "Kara... What happened?"</p><p>Kara hung her head and her shoulders were shaking in his hands. "Alice... They took Alice, they took her- Oh, <em>god</em>, they took her and I don't know where she is!"</p><p>Connor looked up at Officer Miller. "You said something about a friend, who is it?"</p><p>"Apparently there was another android kid with Alice when it happened. He managed to escape so we'd have reason to move out if he showed us what he saw, but he's not here."</p><p>"Luther can bring him here," Kara desperately said. "My partner, he can bring him here, just <em>please</em> find her!"</p><p>Connor's decision was promptly taken. He had to make it up to her. He lightly squeezed her shoulders to attract her attention and promised: "We will, Kara."</p><p> </p><p>The android boy's name was Karim. Connor insisted to be part of the investigation but Hank insisted even more loudly that he went and got his goddamn check-up before he started running around like an idiot. Connor had to relent when Cherry, another android officer, said she'd overlook the interface with Karim first and let him know what he's shown her once Connor would return from the technician's. Karim seemed more at ease with Cherry anyway, so Connor ended up going. The technician declared his head was fine and Connor had half a mind to rub it in Hank's face, but the situation was too serious for him to indulge in wasting any time. Hank also felt responsible for Alice and Kara and they both headed out twenty minutes later to the street Karim had told them about. </p><p>They found her backpack there on the ground, near a body that hadn't been signalled to the DPD yet. Connor soon determined that the dead man wasn't clean.</p><p>He looked up at Hank. "Remember what you said about how you wanted the night to go?"</p><p>"He's a junkie?" guessed Hank.</p><p>"Yes. Red Ice."</p><p>"Shit," he muttered. "So you think it's a drug deal gone wrong?"</p><p>Connor nodded. "The kids were witnesses and Alice got caught."</p><p>Hank sighed. "Makes sense. Come on, let's get going."</p><p>They moved down the alley and Connor found a surveillance camera at the next intersection which he was able to hack into. He saw two men, the wiry one in the front and the burly one carrying Alice with him, and he couldn't see their expressions but the way the little girl hung limp in their arms made him fear that they'd damaged her. He pressed on.</p><p>"What did you see?" Hank asked him.</p><p>"The same men Karim showed us and Alice getting taken away by them." Connor's pace was more rushed than Hank's. "I have to find another camera to know where they went."</p><p>Hank hurried to keep up with him. There was no other camera in that alley so they searched the streets surrounding it. Connor managed to watch several more feeds that showed vehicles rolling down the road and finally narrowed it down to five possibilities where the car seemingly only held two men. Connor quickly compared the plates with the DPD's database and found that only one of them matched with that of a known criminal named Jake Herman, a burglar who had nothing to do with drugs at the time he'd been convicted. Still, it was better than nothing. Hank and Connor immediately visited the corresponding address but they found it empty, and they didn't even find the car, so they resolved to return there later. </p><p>"It's getting late," Hank pointed out as they walked back their car.</p><p>Connor frowned at him. "Are you saying you want to give up?"</p><p>"I'm saying that we have time to visit two more of the owners of the plates you picked up on the feed, and then we're off the clock," reasonably said Hank. "Jeffrey won't be happy if we don't let the night team handle it then."</p><p>"We aren't there yet," sternly said Connor before sliding in the passenger seat.</p><p>Hank leaned on the driver's door. "Yeah, but I know you."</p><p>"We aren't there yet," repeated Connor.</p><p>Hank chuckled humorlessly and took his place behind the wheel. "Right."</p><p>They didn't find Alice. The second owner was a mother of three and the third was a musician living with his two peers, and neither of them gave Connor any reason to be suspicious. Hank yawned as they settled in their car seats yet again and rubbed his face. It was already two hours past 8PM. Connor was silent for a bit.</p><p>"We can't stop now," he eventually said.</p><p>Hank barked a tired laugh. He'd obviously expected Connor to say something like that. "Yeah?"</p><p>"You don't have to come with me. Go home, and I'll call you if something comes up."</p><p>"You really gotta stop acting stupid, Connor." Hank stared at him reprovingly. "These guys killed someone in broad daylight, okay? And they took a kid. They're dangerous, I don't want you creeping around them all by yourself."</p><p>"I'll call you," insisted Connor. "I'm not tired, I can keep going."</p><p>"What's Markus gonna have to say about this, hm?"</p><p>Connor wavered.</p><p>"Yeah," said Hank. "He's not gonna be too happy about that either."</p><p>"He understands that my work is important."</p><p>"Bet he also understands that you're a reckless idiot."</p><p>"I need to do this, Hank!" snapped Connor. Hank stared at him with a knowing look in his eyes and he averted his gaze. "I owe it to them."</p><p>"Well, are you gonna at least warn Markus that you're not coming home tonight? I don't want him calling me in a panic again."</p><p>"Yes, I am." Connor knew Markus wouldn't be okay with it but it was better to tell him now rather than let him wake up in an empty bed to realize that Connor hadn't been home at all. He steeled himself, hoped that Markus was already in standby, and reached out through their transmission.</p><p>&lt;<em>RK800: I can't make it home tonight, Markus.</em>&gt;</p><p>Unfortunately, Markus must've been wide awake because he immediately answered.</p><p>&lt;<em>RK200: Are you working overtime again?</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK800: It's very important, I can't drop it.</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK200: What's happened now?</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK800: A missing child.</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK200: Why can't you let your collegues handle it?</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK800: It's personal.</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK200: How?</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK800: She's one of the androids I hunted.</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK200: Please ignore your misguided sense of guilt and come home, sweetheart.</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK800: It's not misguided. I could've killed her and her mother on that highway.</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK200: Connor...</em>&gt;<br/>&lt;<em>RK200: What about Hank? Does he agree with this? Is he also staying up all night to find her?</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK800: No.</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK200: You can't work like this, without rest, without leaving time for you and me, just because you feel like you're the only one responsible for handling these cases.</em>&gt;<br/>&lt;<em>RK200: You're not! You're part of an entire police department and there are other people who work with you who are qualified for this kind of thing.</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK800: I know, Markus, but I can't leave it up to chance.</em>&gt;<br/>&lt;<em>RK800: I need to act. I need to find her.</em>&gt;<br/>&lt;<em>RK800: Hank will be there for backup when I do.</em>&gt;</p><p>There was a long pause.</p><p>&lt;<em>RK200: You better make it up to me when you come home.</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK800: Of course.</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK200: Please be careful, Connor. I love you.</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>RK800: I love you too, Markus.</em>&gt;</p><p>Connor turned to Hank. "I told him."</p><p>"And?"</p><p>"He wasn't happy."</p><p>"Big surprise. I just texted Jeffrey and he isn't either." Hank started the engine. "But he said okay, as long as you don't try to do your own thing on the side like going to see suspects alone. You have to stick with one of the guys working the graveyard shift."</p><p>"That's a waste of time."</p><p>Hank side-eyed him. "Why?"</p><p>"I can do a deeper search with the information we have and try another method of investigation while the others interview the last two plate owners. If they can't obtain a lead that way, I'll have already started looking for an alternative and there'll be no lost time."</p><p>"Hm. I'll drop you off at the station anyway, you gotta convince the captain yourself."</p><p> </p><p>Captain Fowler was not convinced and Connor ended up doing exactly what the captain had asked him to do: investigating by the others' side. It didn't get them anywhere and Connor was unable to wait for very long before insisting that they returned to the convicted burglar's place in case he was back. Still nothing. It was probably too early. Failure to find Alice that very night weighed heavily on Connor's conscience, knowing that Kara was anxiously waiting for news of her daughter, knowing that the longer Alice was gone the higher the chances were that she'd never return. </p><p>"Connor, you gotta slow down," Hank told him in the morning when he came in for work and found his partner engrossed in software constructions.</p><p>"I <em>have</em> to find her," Connor quietly said.</p><p>He'd also received a message from Markus wishing him good luck and threatening him that if he wasn't back by eight tonight, he'd come and get Connor himself.</p><p>Hank sat down next to him and grabbed his shoulder. "Connor, listen to me. You've been going at it nonstop for more than 24 hours."</p><p>"I'm an android."</p><p>"Rest still matters."</p><p>Connor shrugged off Hank's hand and rose from his seat. "I'm going back to Herman's, he's the only one whose car we haven't been able to check."</p><p>"I barely got here!"</p><p>"You don't have to come."</p><p>"Hey!" Hank hurriedly got to his feet and ran after him, and he stopped him just before the exit. "Connor, look at me."</p><p>Connor looked at him.</p><p>"Okay, so you're in one of your guilt-induced super-productivity bouts, I get it. But don't forget you have a partner," Hank pointed at himself, "and that partner's me. You're not leaving me in the dust just because. Got it?"</p><p>Connor blinked, suddenly realizing how automatic his actions had been, and said: "Got it. Sorry, Lieutenant."</p><p>Hank lowered his arm and nodded. "Yeah. Apology accepted." Then he added with a grin: "I know it comes easy to you but don't be a prick."</p><p> </p><p>They went to Herman's together. This time the man was there and it turned out he lived in a small studio with not even a parking spot. He didn't have the same face as either of the men Connor was looking for.</p><p>"Where's your car?"</p><p>Jake Herman shrugged. "No idea. I lent it to some dudes a while ago cause I owed them a solid and they never brought it back."</p><p>"You didn't change the ownership?" asked Hank.</p><p>He shrugged again. "It's just been like, two weeks."</p><p>"Who are they?"</p><p> </p><p>Victor Goodman and Bruce Marsh. They weren't in the judicial system at first glance but Marsh had been caught with weed on his person in middle school and Marsh had been involved in a case of battery as a minor as well. Hank and Connor paid the former's home the first visit and only found a woman there who declared herself to be his girlfriend. Luckily, she knew where he usually tended to deal and Hank was impressive enough to easily get that information out of her. She didn't really look like she cared what became of Marsh, in the end. They headed to the location she'd given them and Connor divested himself of his police jacket before they split up to find their man so that he wouldn't stick out in the dreary streets. </p><p>Hank was the first to see Marsh and he called in Connor who joined in on the chase just in time to see their thin, gangly culprit jump in the same car that had been caught on tape. </p><p>"Fuck!" swore Hank in frustration, but where he slowed down, Connor sped up. Hank's head jerked in surprise when he understood that his partner was actively trying to <em>outrun a car</em> and he yelled: "Connor, the fuck are you doing?!"</p><p>"Go get the car, Lieutenant!" the android yelled back without losing his focus. There wasn't a lot of traffic so the culprits weren't slowed down all that much, but Connor managed to follow them by preconstructing the possible trajectories they were taking and which streets he was most likely to cut them off at. Simultaneously to all this, Connor was transmitting his position to the GPS application on Hank's phone in hopes that the lieutenant would manage to catch up to him.</p><p>Connor was losing ground, it was inevitable. He could run fast but couldn't rival a vehicle tearing through the city at high speeds. He didn't give up and continued pushing his systems. He didn't want to lose them, not now, not when he was so close to obtaining Alice's location.</p><p>Tires screeched behind him and Hank's car barrelled past Connor before braking about a yard ahead. Connor opened the door in one swift movement and jumped inside. The car they were chasing wasn't visible anymore but he shouted: "Take the next left!"</p><p>They shot through Detroit and their paths crossed that of the culprits again two streets later, where they successfully blocked their path. The two men stumbled out of the car to run and Hank and Connor quickly followed, splitting up again when the culprits did. Hank had gone after the wiry one and Connor was tracking the big one. A few minutes into the chase he received a message from Hank that he'd apprehended Marsh, and Connor grabbed Goodman soon after. Man and android crashed to the ground with muffled grunts and Connor wrenched his arm back, whipping out a pair of cuffs to lock them around the man's wrists in a smooth and practiced motion while cleary reciting his rights to him.</p><p>"Fuck you!" spat Goodman through the blood and one or two chipped teeth.</p><p>Connor lifted him up and ignored his invectives, each one more offensive than the last, and manhandled him back to their vehicle. He joined up with Hank and Marsh a few minutes later and threw Goodman next to his partner. Hank drew himself up to his full height and towered over them menacingly.</p><p>"Tell us where the girl is."</p><p>"Fuck you," Goodman said. Of course he did.</p><p>"Dude, shut up," hissed Marsh, and then he glared at Connor and Hank. "We're not telling you anything."</p><p>"We might cut you a little deal if you give us the right address," Hank suggested.</p><p>"Yeah, right," scoffed Marsh. "Do you take me for an idiot?"</p><p>"We don't have time for this," suddenly said Connor.</p><p>Hank watched his partner step up to the two men. "What are you thinking?"</p><p>"I'm going to look through their phones." Connor crouched and shoved a hand in Marsh's pocket with little regards to his indignant insults, whereupon he fished out the object he'd been looking for. He only needed to hold it to hack into its data.</p><p>"Hey, I have rights, you piece of shit android!" fumed Marsh.</p><p>"Eh," shrugged Hank while Connor moved around the car to get Goodman's device too. "I don't see him doing anything wrong."</p><p>"It's a violation of privacy!"</p><p>"What violation? All I see is him staring at two locked phones."</p><p>It was easy to pick the phones' GPS data and figure out where the men had been spending more time lately. Connor also sifted through the old messages and calls just in case, but there wasn't a person in particular they seemed to have contacted more frequently and the messages didn't state anything about a girl or an android. Connor returned the phones to their owners and straightened.</p><p>"I think I know where she is."</p><p>"You're going?"</p><p>Connor nodded at Hank. "I'll go retrieve her while you bring them back to the precinct."</p><p>"You sure you want to go alone?"</p><p>"I don't have reason to believe there was someone else involved in the kidnapping." Connor looked at the men. "Was there?"</p><p>They just glared and kept their mouths shut.</p><p>"Okay well, be careful anyway. You never know." Hank slammed the door to the car shut and Connor did the same on Goodman's side, and he sternly pointed at the android over the car. "You call me if you need backup, okay? Or even if there's anything fishy going on at all."</p><p>"Will do, Lieutenant."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>- 02/10/2020 -</p><p>Connor: I'm fast as fuck boiii</p><p>Hey pumpkin! So satisfying to get back in Connor POV, not that writing Alice wasn't fun but I have my preferences ;)<br/>Also, action! Chase sequence! Bad guys! Buddy cops! It's always so much fun to write Hank and Connor's dynamic at work.</p><p>Onto the chapter:<br/>- Nooo Kara, I know you're hurting but don't be like that<br/>- Connor is very very stubborn by default and it's just so much worse when he feels like he needs to see something through the end out of guilt. It really worries those who love him :/<br/>- Yes, there was one time when Markus couldn't contact Connor and freaked out, and Hank had to haul Connor's ass back home so that the two idiots could be together<br/>- Connor go nyoom<br/>- Connor go solo... To be continued</p><p>Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Little Beast</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Connor climbed out of the taxi one street away from the address that he'd obtained from the culprits' phones and walked the rest of the way there. It was true that they couldn't be a 100% sure that Alice had been left by herself, and as much as Connor liked to think that sometimes Hank was a bit too cautious, he knew his friend was right to ask him to be careful. Climbing out of a taxi right in front of a place where a kidnapped child was being held and hostiles possibly were residing would not have been a good call. Connor reached his destination minutes later, happening upon a run-down half-building in the middle of a desolate neighbourhood. The two drug dealers couldn't have chosen a shadier place to put away their victim. He scanned his empty surroundings and decided not to walk directly up to the main entrance, instead choosing to circle around the building to locate all exits. Connor ended up testing the back door and it opened without a hitch. He cautiously stepped inside and stilled, listening for voices or footsteps, but it was quiet.</p><p>Connor made his way across the ground floor and checked the rooms one after the other. There were mountains of evidence that this was indeed a dealer's lair but no sign of Alice. Connor eventually went for the stairs and started his progress up to the second floor when he heard a door open upstairs and two male voices ring out in the empty staircase. He froze and immediately flattened himself against the wall.</p><p>&lt;<em>Connor: She's not alone.</em>&gt;<br/>
&lt;<em>Connor: I hear two men.</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>Hank: I'm on my way, don't do anything stupid.</em>&gt;<br/>
&lt;<em>Hank: Do not do anything stupid, you hear me?</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>Connor: I'm waiting for you, don't worry.</em>&gt;<br/>
&lt;<em>Connor: I cleared the ground floor.</em>&gt;</p><p>Connor silently listened to the conversation unfolding above his head, some talk about the next drug deal they were planning. Well, that way he'd have even more incriminating evidence against them. Suddenly there was a jingle and the conversation stopped. There was a pause, and then the older-sounding one spoke again.</p><p>"They're ready to reset it, go get ready."</p><p>"Right now?" the other man sounded nervous.</p><p>"Yes, right now."</p><p>"So we're really doing this? It's not just kidnapping now, if we get caught it'll be equivalent to human trafficking."</p><p>"Oh, shut the fuck up."</p><p>"I'm serious!"</p><p>"Casey, this thing is just a robot. We're selling a robot. Now go get ready."</p><p>Footsteps, and then they stopped one after the other. </p><p>"Why are you coming?" asked Casey.</p><p>"Gotta make a call before we get it."</p><p>The footsteps picked up again and the door slammed shut behind the two men. Connor waited a few more seconds and then started sprinting up the stairs as quietly as he could.</p><p>&lt;<em>Connor: I'm moving in, no choice.</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>Hank: Goddammit Connor</em>&gt;<br/>
&lt;<em>Hank: Why the fuck not?</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>Connor: They want to bring her somewhere to reset her right now.</em>&gt;<br/>
&lt;<em>Connor: I can't just sit and watch them take her there.</em>&gt;</p><p>Hank didn't protest this assessment and Connor soon reached the end of the second flight of stairs. He assumed Alice was somewhere on the last floor since she probably wasn't on the same one as the two men he'd heard, given what they'd said near the end. He hoped to find her and bring her downstairs before they came, but in the worst-case scenario he didn't manage it, he'd have to resort to violence. Connor furtively looked into room after room in quick succession. He caught movement in one of them and immediately stepped inside, swiftly closing the door behind him. The movement had been Alice curling up against the wall in the corner of the empty room where she'd hidden her face behind her arms. Connor realized that she probably hadn't recognized him upon entering because she wasn't used to seeing him wear his DPD jacket. She'd only seen him in uniform once, after all.</p><p>"Alice?"</p><p>She cautiously peered over her crossed arms at him and her eyes widened when she saw his face. Connor stepped closer to her and kneeled a few feet away.</p><p>"I'm getting you out of here, okay? I'm with the police. My collegues will be there soon, but I have to make sure you're safe before we apprehend the people who took you."</p><p>Alice seemed to struggle with herself for a few seconds before she lunged forward to hang onto his neck. She didn't speak but Connor could make out the message in her desperate grip: <em>save me</em>.</p><p>Connor gently pulled her back to check if she'd been damaged. She'd started crying, maybe from relief or simply from an overload of emotions, and she just stood there shaking. Her fingers were tightly curled in Connor's jacket and he didn't make her let go. He felt anger invade him when he saw the residual traces of the blue blood that had spilled from her nose down her upper lip. She'd been hit, either recently or hard enough that the plating on the side of her face was still visible in the point of impact. Connor couldn't see how far the inflicted harm extended to beneath her outfit, but he knew chances were high that Alice hadn't only been hit in the face.</p><p>"It's okay. It's okay, I'm here now. Come on." Connor settled his hand on top of Alice's small fist. "Hold my hand and I'll get you out."</p><p>Alice sniffled and wordlessly nodded, and it took her a few seconds to slowly uncurl her fingers and hold his own instead of the jacket. They didn't have a lot of time but Connor couldn't rush her. He was well aware that Alice didn't necessarily trust him either and that she could easily freeze up if she got overwhelmed, which would only make her extraction more complicated.</p><p>"Good," he told her, and he turned around to sneak her out of this place.</p><p>They stepped out in the main hallway and Connor kept a cautious ear out for any unusual sounds as they hurried to the staircase exit. There was no one else here. Connor pulled Alice behind him and reached for the handle to carefully open the door. Once he was sure the coast was clear, he tugged Alice along and they started their descent. They rounded a corner to the part of the staircase where there was the landing with the door to the first floor and Connor turned to Alice, bringing his finger to his lips so she'd be extra quiet in this part of their progress. They silently approached it and then walked past it, and they'd barely taken three steps down the stairs when the door was pushed outwards.</p><p>"What the-"</p><p>Connor threw a glance over his shoulder to see the two men were right there, one of which was already reaching for his gun. Alice screamed when Connor jerked her to the front to cover her with his body and screamed again when a gunshot exploded in the narrow passage. A bullet tore through his right arm and Connor gritted his teeth. His arm securely wrapped around Alice's small back to hold her close, he immediately pulled out his own weapon and twisted his head around to train it on the closest man. His aim was true and his target collapsed against the door, a small red hole having suddenly appeared where his heart resided. The younger one's gaze flickered over to his dead associate in a panic and Connor took advantage of this moment of uncertainty to throw himself and Alice down the stairs. He raced to the ground level and heard new voices echo in the stairwell, lower and steadier than Casey's alarmed one. This was bad. It sounded like there had been more men hanging around on the first floor than those he'd heard earlier and Connor knew he couldn't fight them with Alice at his side.</p><p>"Go, run outside and hide," Connor quickly instructed her as he pushed open the door at the very bottom of the stairs and forcefully spun her around. "I'll take care of them. Go!"</p><p>Alice looked at him with terrified eyes but finally took off, and Connor slid into the space beneath the staircase as the door closed behind her. He shook off his DPD jacket and threw it in the corner of the spandrel before quickly checking his gun. It would be easier to move around without it, not to mention that he didn't want to come back to the precinct with his jacket in shreds. He positioned himself to face his oncoming enemies. </p><p>They were three against one. Connor could take them now that Alice was safe.</p>
<hr/><p>Alice ran out into the lobby, her breathing choppy and frantic in her ears, and she cringed when she heard yet another gunshot but only briefly faltered. She had to flee before they caught her. She was spurred on by her fear, yet at the same time she hoped that Connor would be okay and that she hadn't left him to die. Just as Alice was about to reach the nearest exit, she saw it start to open and a black shoe appear in the widening space. Alice was already tripping into the closest room before she'd even begun to panic all over again. She didn't fall and quickly lunged to the side to hide behind the door, the same way she'd seen Kara hide from the soldiers in the boat and from Zlatko in the mansion. Through the crack of the door's hinges, she watched as a man walked past her room from the doorway. </p><p>A strong smell of cigarette wafted in the air. He froze, tension suddenly apparent in his shoulders, and then he drew his gun and started moving again in slithering prowl. He disappeared from her point of view. Alice heard the sound of scraping followed by the sound of something heavy falling on the floor, more scraping, and then the man stopped making noise. She could still hear commotion from afar where Connor was still fighting with the bad men, and her fear multiplied tenfold when she realized that the one she'd seen was probably waiting for him to come out. Alice didn't dare move at first but she was too worried to just let it happen if that was indeed the case, so she quietly tip-toed around the door and peeked over the side to check. There she saw that the man was crouching just a few feet away behind a big desk that had been turned over. He was closer than she'd expected him to be and she reflexively covered her mouth with her hand, but his back was facing her. He didn't know she was there.</p>
<hr/><p>Connor had easily disposed of the first of the men who'd been running after him and Alice when he went straight for the door thinking that they'd both escaped through there. Connor shot him in the back and the man collided flat against the door. The two others cursed loudly and stayed in retreat, blindly shooting at the last stairs in case Connor decided to step out in the open. Connor waited. He listened closely to the faint shuffling of shoes against the concrete floor when the shooting stopped.</p><p>"Fuck, what's the police doing here?" hissed one of them.</p><p>"I told you it was suspicious they weren't answering!" nervously answered a voice which Connor recognized to be Casey's.</p><p>"What the fuck do we do now?"</p><p>"I won't shoot you if you surrender," Connor called out from his hiding spot. "Throw away your weapons and we can talk."</p><p>"Fuck you!" spat the first.</p><p>"I- I surrender," shouted the second.</p><p>"What the hell are you doing?!"</p><p>"I don't wanna die! I don't give a shit what you think, man, I'm not dying here!" Connor heard something clatter down the stairs and saw the gun hit the door then bounce back towards him, where it slid to a stop at an arm's length. Connor quickly grabbed it.</p><p>"There, I threw away my gun!"</p><p>"What about the other one?" Connor yelled back.</p><p>"Fucking useless," muttered the one who hadn't surrendered. "Spineless little shit."</p><p>"Wait, no- No!" </p><p>Connor heard someone start running down the stairs, several bangs, and a body slumping. He clenched his jaw and rounded the corner still crouching to aim at the remaining shooter. A bullet whizzed above his head and he pulled his own trigger. The big man's mouth went slack when his brain was shot, his legs staggered back, and then he limply fell over like a very large sack of bricks. Connor glanced at the young man lying in the middle of the bloody stairs but a quick scan told him Casey had already died. Connor spun around to pick up his jacket and went to step out of the stairwell.</p><p>"Watch out!" shrieked a thin voice, and Connor ducked fast enough that one of the shots missed and the second hit his side instead of his pump.</p><p>He instantly whipped his gun back up to retaliate but faltered when another bullet hit his flank, and this time the impact threw him back against the doorframe. His shoulder slammed against the surface and he let out a grunt when the shock jostled his damaged arm.</p><p>"Stop it!" yelled Alice, and Connor felt a rush of dread when he saw her dart out in the open and jump on the shooter like a small, rabid animal. If she got shot-</p><p>Connor pushed himself off the wall and ran. The shooter grabbed Alice by the collar and let out an angry curse when she bit his wrist. The man brutally threw her to the ground and stomped on her, and then he aimed his gun at her face and Alice shrivelled up with a frightened whimper. Connor vaulted over the upturned desk and planted both of his feet in the man's spine, sending him flying several metres away and into the wall. Rage filled Connor. He shot up from the spot he'd landed in and stalked over to his prey who was scrambling and failing to get back up, and the man only had the time to look up in fear before Connor kicked him in the chin so hard that his head bounced against the wall in an instant knock-out.</p><p>Connor wanted to do worse to the human but he hurried to Alice and pulled her off the ground to hide in a room nearby. Alice stumbled inside and dropped to the ground when her legs gave out, but it didn't look like she'd been hurt, so Connor took the time to quickly prop a chair up against the closed door before going back to her. The little girl was sitting on the floor but she looked frozen in place, her eyes wide, her chest rising and falling too fast. He dropped to his knees next to her and held out his hand.</p><p>"Alice, it's okay. They can't hurt you anymore. You're safe. Can you stand up?"</p><p>Alice looked at him but she didn't seem to understand. Her gaze drifted to the blood that was dripping from Connor's arm onto the floor. Connor noticed it was upsetting her so he swiftly undid his tie and pulled it into a knot around the bullet's point of entry. It did factually nothing to quell the blood flow but it would probably be reassuring to Alice if Connor acted out some kind of first-aid care, and Connor tried to voluntarily control the width of his thirium lines to tighten them more than he already had. The thirium flow slowed down a bit but the problem was that he couldn't shut off the flow to it completely since they were still in dangerous territory and there was a possibility he'd need to use his arm again. Connor showed the makeshift bandage to Alice.</p><p>"See? I'm stopping the bleeding, I'll be fine. Okay?"</p><p>Alice nodded slightly.</p><p>"Let me help you up." Connor slipped his hands beneath her shoulders and gently picked her off the ground, letting her feet settle against the ground and holding her there until she looked steady enough. Connor let go and asked: "Can you say something, Alice?"</p><p>Alice continued staring emptily at Connor's mouth, as if she could hear him but just couldn't comprehend the words. Connor gazed at her and then lightly tapped on her shoulders.</p><p>"Wait here."</p><p>He stood up and wobbled slightly. He was losing thirium fast because of the holes in his sides, but he had good faith that Hank would have some supplies with him when he got here. </p><p>&lt;<em>Connor: Hostiles have been dealt with, Alice is safe.</em>&gt;<br/>
&lt;<em>Connor: I don't know if I got them all so be careful when you get here.</em>&gt;<br/>
&lt;<em>Connor: How long until then?</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>Hank: About two or three minutes.</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>Connor: You might want to bring some thirium directly with you when you get out of the car.</em>&gt;</p><p>&lt;<em>Hank: Dammit, Connor.</em>&gt;</p><p>Connor picked up his jacket which had slipped out of his grasp when he'd rushed to block the door with the chair, and then he went to crouch in front of Alice again.</p><p>"Here."</p><p>He draped his mostly clean DPD jacket around her thin shoulders and it was three times too big for her, but it would probably make her feel safer. It was one of the basic gestures that Connor knew about as a first responder, and Hank had done the same for him once so Connor was well aware of how comforting it could be. Her eyes flickered down to the jacket that was now enveloping her and then she looked up at Connor. In that moment, she seemed to realize all over again what had just happened. Her brown eyes filled up with tears.</p><p>"It's okay," Connor quietly told her. "My collegues are almost here. You'll be back home soon."</p><p>Alice looked down and wrapped her arms around herself. She was shaking. Connor studied her and then hesitantly said: "Do you need anything else?"</p><p>"...I want to go home," she plaintively said. Her voice was wobbly. "I want Foxy."</p><p>"I know. Soon, I promise."</p><p>Connor suddenly felt weary and he had to go sit down. A quick look at his thirium levels told him that their depletion was a likely reason for him to be feeling this faint. Alice glanced at him and then her eyes widened some more in frightened concern.</p><p>"You're not going to die, right?"</p><p>Connor leaned back against the wall. "No."</p><p>"...You're bleeding a lot."</p><p>"I'll be okay. Don't worry, Alice."</p><p>There was a long pause.</p><p>"Thank you for coming to get me."</p><p>Connor turned his head in the little girl's direction. Her gaze was timid. He smiled at her. "I'm glad I found you."</p><p>"Me too," said Alice.</p><p>They fell silent again. At one point Alice shifted to slide her arms into the sleeves of Connor's oversized jacket and then resumed hugging herself, the fabric rustling as she squeezed it closer to her body. Connor gazed at her small huddled shape and felt a familiar pang of guilt, and on the heels of it a pervasive kind of sadness that he knew very well. He clenched and unclenched his shaking fist in his lap before finally mustering the courage to talk again.</p><p>"Alice?"  </p><p>The little girl's head jerked up to look at him, her eyes still very wide from shock. Connor hated to see the bruise at her brow and the thin streaks of thirium on her upper lip, and he hated that she looked so scared, that this was probably exactly what she'd looked like when he'd nearly killed her mother on the highway. </p><p>"I'm sorry," he quietly apologized to her. "I'm sorry for what I did to you back then."</p><p>Alice looked confused and her gaze flickered to the side before returning to his face. She didn't say anything. Connor could feel his hands shaking more now. He knew it was because he was upset and the loss of thirium was just making things worse, but his apology to Kara in New Jericho while Alice had been hiding behind her hadn't felt right. He knew Alice was scared of him still and Connor needed to make things right.</p><p>"I wouldn't ever try to hurt you again."</p><p>Alice looked down at her lap.</p><p>"I regret it all." Connor gripped his wrist and dropped his gaze as well. The guilt and shame were always there, laying at the bottom of him like dark water in a well, and sometimes they threatened to overflow the way they were right now. He murmured:  "I hope you can forgive me one day."</p><p>It was quiet for a while. When Connor glanced up at Alice again he saw that she was gazing at him. Her eyes were wary and curious and thoughtful.</p><p>"You don't have to," Connor told her. "Of course you don't have to. I'll understand." </p><p>Alice slowly got to her feet and took a cautious step forward, and when Connor didn't move, she took another, and another, and crouched in a kneeling position right in front of him. She had a little frown on her face now and her voice was hesitant.</p><p>"Are you... Are you sad?"</p><p>Connor was so surprised by the little girl's genuinely concerned tone that he was speechless for a second. Then his lips curled into a rueful smile and he nodded slowly. "I suppose I am."</p><p>"Because you did bad things?"</p><p>Connor couldn't hold her gaze then and he nodded again. "I didn't want to hurt you. I know it's hard to believe but I didn't mean to hurt you like that, I didn't mean to make you so scared." He had to close his eyes when a wave of fatigue washed over him. "I didn't mean to make you feel so scared all the time."</p><p>Alice didn't say anything else and Connor kept his eyes closed in the silence that permeated the room. They heard the sound of cars braking and doors slamming a few moments later and Hank's gruff voice rang out through the place when he called out: "Connor?"</p><p>Connor didn't really have the strength nor the motivation to yell back, so he just sent Hank a message. </p><p>"They're here?" asked Alice. Connor nodded and went to push himself off the ground, but she anxiously waved her hands around to make him stop. "No, no, just tell me what you want to do, I can help!"</p><p>Connor stilled and looked at the little girl. Her face was covered in drying tears, there were fresh spots where her skin had fluctuated because of physical violence, and her hands were still trembling a little, but she didn't have that stricken look in her eyes anymore.</p><p>"I was going to pull the chair away from the handle so they could come inside," he told her.</p><p>"Okay, I can do that," she said with a quick nod, and she hurried up to the door to tug on the chair. It was taller than her and probably heavier too but she managed to clear the way. Alice looked at Connor. "Should I go get them?"</p><p>"Wait a bit. They have to make sure the place is safe first."</p><p>Alice didn't answer and she stared hopefully at the door.</p><p>"Connor!" yelled Hank again from afar, and they heard footsteps come close. Connor could make out about three to four people in them.</p><p>The door opened to reveal Officer Chen. Alice took a step back and shot Connor an unsure glance, but he tried to be reassuring when he said: "Hello, Officer Chen."</p><p>"Oh, great. The lieutenant's not gonna be happy about this one," she muttered when she saw the state of his clothes, and then she looked back and called: "They're over here!"</p><p>Hank was the first to step inside after Officer Chen and while she talked to Alice, he quickly came up to Connor and asked: "How much do you need?"</p><p>"Two would be a good start."</p><p>"Fucking great," mumbled Hank as he reached into his bag and pulled out two pouches and unscrewed one before giving it to the android. "Look at yourself. You really gotta stop letting people fuck you up like this."</p><p>"They were a lot," explained Connor as he took the thirium.</p><p>Hank gripped the android's wrist and shoved the thirium pouch in Connor's hand up to his face. "Just shut up and drink the goddamn thirium."</p><p>Connor complied while Hank unscrewed the second pouch and waited for him to finish. Officer Chen's voice was soft and soothing while her partner entered the room in turn. Officer Stacy had been a receptionist android once, but she'd passed the police test and both women worked well together. She knelt down next to Officer Chen and Alice seemed a bit more receptive to her, probably because she was an android too.</p><p>"We're going to bring you to the hospital, all right? Your mommy will join up with you there," Officer Stacy told the little girl with a comforting smile.</p><p>Alice nodded.</p><p>Hank held out the second drink as he looked Connor over. "Yeah, you're gonna need to go too."</p><p>"I know," said Connor as he exchanged the pouches. Hank crumpled the empty one up and threw it back in his bag. "Believe it or not, even I can tell that I need repairs."</p><p>"Christmas miracle," scoffed Hank.</p><p>Officer Stacy was picking Alice up and Officer Chen told them: "We're taking her to the hospital, let's join up there." Officer Stacy stepped out with the little girl in her arms and both Alice and Connor exchanged gazes just before she disappeared behind the door. Officer Chen continued: "Connor, are you gonna be all right?"</p><p>He looked away from the empty doorframe and nodded. "I'll be fine. Thank you, Officer."</p><p>She nodded and left, and then it was just him and Hank. Once Connor was done replenishing his levels, Hank asked: "Can you even walk like this?"</p><p>"Probably. Let's find out." Connor braced himself against the wall and slowly got to his feet, and he had to take a moment to steady himself when the room rocked slightly around him. It was only for a brief moment and he was able to straighten as soon as it was over. Although his legs felt heavy, he managed to take a few steps without tripping. He looked up at Hank and said: "Perfect, see?"</p><p>"Yeah, right." Hank grabbed Connor's arm and looped it around his neck while his own came around Connor's back to support him. "You're a fucking idiot. Come on, let's get you to the car." </p><p>Connor smiled despite himself. "Thanks, Hank."</p><p>"Yeah, yeah." They walked out of the room and Hank grumbled to himself: "Markus is gonna give me hell for letting this happen."</p><p>That sobered Connor up pretty quickly. He was probably about to get a good scolding himself.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>- 09/10/2020 -</p><p>Connor: Well if I survive this den of drug dealers Markus is gonna kill me</p><p>Hey pumpkin! And here it is, the scene that inspired this fic! This was Val's original prompt drawing, Connor comforting Alice while she wore his jacket. I went and decided it would be even better if they were both injured &gt;:)))</p><p>Onto the chapter!<br/>- I'm pretty sure Hank fully expected Connor to do something stupid regardless of what turned up at the scene<br/>- I'm all for Badass Connor but honestly beast mode Alice is pretty fucking good too. She's so courageous!<br/>- All right, who bets five dollars that guy's spine was insta-broken by Connor's double-feet kick<br/>- Both Alice and Connor getting hurt was my initiative but Val had the wonderful idea of Connor having a tie around his arm to quell the bleeding, and I thought it would be cute if he did it not because he needed to, but because it would reassure Alice.<br/>- Ahhhh look at Connor on the brink of death hoping for but never actually seeking forgiveness<br/>- And I love myself some good Hank-Connor cop buddies/friends/family interaction<br/>- How scared were you for Alice and Connor? :3</p><p>Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Set The Record Straight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Connor was quickly ushered in one of the repair rooms at the Emergency Department of the Detroit Center Hospital while Hank was asked to wait outside. It took under an hour for the main damage to be fixed, then he was transferred for finer repairs in one of the rooms upstairs while he was still in stasis. They put him in standby once they were done so that Connor would be able to come back online in his own time. He was brought out of it when he heard Markus and Hank arguing right outside his door. Connor cautiously pushed himself up on his elbows and sat on the edge of his bed, then paused to make sure that he didn't feel like anything was out of place. Just as he was about to stand, he heard Markus raise his voice.</p><p>"Really, Hank? I know how to handle this kind of conversation with him. Don't tell me what I'm supposed to do."</p><p>"You know that's not what I meant! Look, Markus, you're stressed, we're both stressed, I get it. I just think right now's not-"</p><p>"Just leave us alone for now." The door opened and Markus walked in, and the anger in his eyes was replaced by surprise when he saw that Connor was already awake. Both androids stared at each other, then Markus turned around and told Hank: "I'm just going to talk to him. Give me a moment."</p><p>Hank didn't sound happy about it but he said: "Fine," and then Connor heard him walk away.</p><p>Markus closed the door behind him and he walked closer to Connor. "Sit down."</p><p>Connor sat down. </p><p>Markus crossed his arms over his chest. "I told you to be careful." His voice was steady but there was an undercurrent of reproval and mostly frustration in it that Connor knew to recognize.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Markus." He reached out and settled a hand on Markus' arm. "You know it's not my intention to worry you like this."</p><p>Markus very seriously said: "It doesn't look that way considering how often you get yourself hurt."</p><p>"My job is dangerous," Connor reminded him when he didn't find anything else to say. They'd gone over this many times before.</p><p>"You went in there <em>alone</em>, Connor, up against five armed men."</p><p>"I <em>had</em> to save her, they were going to get her reset." Markus pressed his lips together and now Connor could see pain in his mismatched eyes, so he squeezed the other man's arm. "Markus, I'm fine and she's safe. It all worked out."</p><p>Markus shook his head and looked down. His shoulders loosened from their tense position and his weariness clearly showed. "I hate this."</p><p>"Markus..."</p><p>"You could've died. You got shot and lost so much blood and I didn't know." Markus frowned at him unhappily. "I haven't even seen you in two days!"</p><p>"I'm sorry, Markus." Connor pulled him closer and his lover reluctantly took a step forward so that he was standing between Connor's legs. "I am, really. I know I got caught up in work again. I shouldn't have neglected you."</p><p>Markus finally uncrossed his arms to hold Connor's hand in his own. "You got caught up in your guilt, more like."</p><p>"I had to make it up to her and her mother. She told me I owed them that and I knew she was right."</p><p>Markus' hands tightened around his. "She told you <em>what?</em>"</p><p>Connor saw that Markus was getting angry and he tried to soothe him. "It's logical she'd think that way. I traumatized that little girl, Markus. The least I could do was find her and bring her back home."</p><p>"You don't <em>owe</em> them anything!" exclaimed Markus.</p><p>"Markus, look, the important part is that everyone's all right," quickly reiterated Connor.</p><p>It was obvious Markus wanted to insist on the matter of Connor's debt towards Kara and Alice but he held back from expanding on it, the crease in his brow the only sign that indicated his disagreement and how conflicted he felt about dropping the topic. He was probably saving it for a better time. Markus eventually leaned forward so that their foreheads could gently touch, and his voice was soft and regretful when he spoke again.</p><p>"You're so reckless. I just want you to care more about yourself."</p><p>"I know. I'm still learning," Connor told him just as softly, and he took Markus' face by the chin to kiss him. Markus kissed him back. It was tender and comforting, and Connor knew it was unfair to Markus that he put himself in danger so often without thinking about lasting consequences. Had their situations been reversed, Connor didn't know if he would've been able to withstand it.</p><p>They slowly broke apart and Markus looked down at him sadly. He didn't even need to speak for Connor to understand just how deep his sorrow ran. Connor had died many more times than anyone else they knew, and it etched a profound grief deep inside Markus to know that Connor still didn't value his life more after all this time. Connor himself felt sad to see it in those wonderful, beloved eyes because he knew Markus would always carry that grief. Connor couldn't make it go away. He could never manage to think that his life was worth as much as anyone else's, and as such he would never be able to fully reassure Markus. Not until Connor healed from his past.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Connor apologized again, and he stood up to pull Markus into a hug. He didn't usually initiate this gesture between them, but they were alone and Markus needed to know that Connor was safe and whole. "I don't mean to hurt you."</p><p>Markus didn't say anything but he hugged him back fervently, like he'd only be waiting for Connor to make the first move. Markus probably had wanted to avoid making Connor uncomfortable by trapping him in his arms so soon after a dangerous situation, but this was permission to do so and Markus held him tightly like he never wanted to let him go. Connor dug his fingers into Markus' thick coat and breathed in the familiar rich scent of paint and cedar and tangerine that lingered in the crook of his lover's neck. He felt safe and loved. He felt alive. Connor let his chin rest on Markus' shoulder when he felt fingers starting to card through his hair and then closed his eyes to revel in the moment.</p>
<hr/><p>Alice squirmed on her seat. "I want to go see him now!"</p><p>Kara held her knee. "Alice, calm down. We can go after you're checked out."</p><p>Alice's repairs had been fairly quick. Aside from her wrist and face requiring a physical correction, all she'd needed was a little boost to her self-repair program so the bruises could go away. Kara had rushed into her room with a fresh set of clothes earlier but as soon as she'd seen Alice sitting there, she'd thrown everything on the nearest chair and had gone to hug Alice.</p><p>"Alice! Oh, Alice, my baby, I'm so glad you're okay, I'm so glad," Kara had sobbed next to her ear.</p><p>"Mommy," Alice had said without thinking, and there was nothing else she could think to say and all she could do was blubber the same word over and over in Kara's shoulder.</p><p>"Oh, god." Kara's hug had tightened around Alice's shoulder. "I was so scared...!"</p><p>Luther had walked in after Kara and lingered on the side of the bed, not really knowing what to do with himself until Kara had reached out to pull him into the hug with Alice, smiling despite the tears on her face. </p><p>"Come here."</p><p>And Luther had awkwardly shuffled closer and carefully hugged them both. Alice had grabbed onto his shirt, sniffling, and his hand had come down to gently pat her on the head.</p><p>"We're all right," he'd quietly said in a relieved voice. "We're all right."</p><p>And they'd stayed like that for a long time.</p><p> </p><p>Now Alice felt a bit better to have both of them with her, but she was still holding onto Connor's stained jacket and hadn't been able to go see him yet. Officer Chen and Officer Stacy had waited for Alice's caretaker to finish his work before getting permission to ask her about what had happened to her, and the questions had lasted a while. Officer Chen had suggested to take Connor's jacket with her at the end of their conversation but Alice had insisted that she wanted to go give it back herself. Both officers had left the room and Alice had been allowed to go with Kara and Luther, but as they waited in the hallway to do the papers so she could leave the hospital, she couldn't stop feeling nervous. What if Connor wasn't okay? What if all that blood had been more serious than he'd said? Alice was used to adults lying to her so that she'd feel better. She'd asked Connor if he was going to die and hadn't really expected him to say yes if that had been the truth. </p><p>"He was bleeding so much..." Alice whispered to herself.</p><p>Kara stared at her and squeezed her knee. "I'm sure he's fine, the officers said so."</p><p>Alice stared down at the big jacket in her lap and gripped it tight. "He stayed in the stairs with the bad guys so I could escape. He got hurt because of it."</p><p>"Alice, you warned him about the last one. That was very courageous of you."</p><p>Alice slowly shrugged. She hadn't stopped the bad man from shooting at all. She hadn't dared make her presence known at first because she'd hoped Connor would somehow know that there was a trap waiting for him right outside the door, and then she'd only shouted instead of actually doing something to stop the bad man from shooting him. She'd only attacked once she'd understood that Connor would die if she didn't intervene, and only after he'd already gotten shot <em>twice</em>. She'd been much too slow to help. The blue splatters she'd seen on the inside flap of the jacket were proof of that.</p><p>Connor had been so nice to her even when he'd been bleeding all over the place while she'd been unable to move or speak. He'd been patient. He'd given her his jacket and he'd tried to make her feel better. Alice was impressed that he hadn't once seemed scared for himself. But <em>she'd</em> been scared for him. She was still worried, even though it was Connor, even though she'd been scared <em>of</em> him before, even though he'd remained an invincible monster in her head for so long. When he'd closed his eyes she'd almost thought that he was dying for real, and it was only because he'd been breathing just as well and because his LED had been circling red just as fast that she'd been reassured it wasn't the case.</p><p>"Come on," said Kara, and she took Alice by the hand. "It's our turn."</p><p>Alice slipped off of Luther's lap and they all went to sit at the desk that had just been freed.</p><p> </p><p>Finding Connor's room was easy because Officer Stacy had told Alice which one it was, but as they approached it her nervosity kept growing. She wasn't sure how Connor would react to seeing her. She'd been mean to him in the past, avoiding him, calling him a hunter, not even believing that he could be loved by anyone because of what he'd been. Alice knew she'd been wrong to think it but that didn't change the fact that she had. </p><p>Back in the building, when he'd stepped into the room where the bad men had thrown her, she hadn't even been relieved to recognize him. She hadn't known if he was there to help her or if things had just taken a turn for the worst. But then he'd said he was going to save her, and his brown eyes had been so serious and sincere, and his voice had been so very soft when those men's words had been so very harsh. Alice had been desperate to get out and she'd chosen to believe him. After seeing what he'd been capable of to make sure she'd get out of there okay, she regretted having ever doubted him at all. He'd even apologized to her despite being injured while he'd been sitting hunched over with his back against the wall, too exhausted to move because of the bullets he'd been shot with. Connor had looked so sad about what he'd once done to Alice even though he'd just saved her life.</p><p>Kara rapped on the door and Alice held the jacket even tighter against her chest.</p><p>"Come in," called Connor's voice.</p><p>Kara opened the door and stepped in, and Alice followed. She saw that Connor wasn't alone. Markus was sitting in a chair next to him and their arms weren't that far from each other. It kind of looked like they'd been holding hands before Kara had knocked.</p><p>"Hello," Kara politely said, and she stopped near the entrance like she didn't want to intrude. Her voice was grateful. "We wanted to thank you for what you did for us."</p><p>"I simply did my job," answered Connor.</p><p>"You put your life at risk for our little girl," Luther said in his deep voice. "We can't thank you enough."</p><p>Alice felt like Connor was getting uncomfortable. It wasn't obvious in his behavior, he wasn't squirming or changing the subject or anything like that, but the way he stayed quiet and the way Markus looked at him indicated that there was <em>something</em> going on.</p><p>"I wanted to give you back your jacket," Alice said.</p><p>Connor looked at her and then at what she was holding, and he smiled a little. "Thank you, Alice."</p><p>His smile was nice and Alice suddenly felt shy, but she had to do this. She walked forward to hand it to him and tried to muster up the courage to apologize. He took the jacket off her hands and folded it on his lap before putting it on the side of the bed, and then when he looked back at her she blurted out: "I'm sorry for all the times before."</p><p>He looked a bit confused. "What are you talking about?"</p><p>"I mean I'm... I'm sorry for avoiding you all the time. And being scared of you."</p><p>Connor still didn't look like he understood. "I think it's normal that you felt that way after what happened between us, Alice. I don't resent you for it."</p><p>"But you're a good person now," insisted Alice. "Everyone told me so but I kept being mean to you. I should've been nicer. I'm sorry I wasn't nicer." He opened his mouth to answer but she suddenly needed to say more and she kept going. "And I'm sorry you got hurt because of me in that building."</p><p>"Alice," Kara started, but Alice continued talking.</p><p>"I'm sorry I didn't try to stop that guy before he shot you even though I knew he was right there, and I'm sorry I didn't help you more, and I'm sorry you got shot in the arm to protect me, and thank you for saving me."</p><p>The room was silent for a while and Alice suddenly felt self-conscious when she realized that the leader of the deviants was right there next to her and staring at her.</p><p>"Alice," Connor eventually said. "None of that was your fault. It was my duty to protect you and I did. Don't feel responsible for me getting hurt, that's just something that happens on the job sometimes."</p><p>Alice kept her gaze glued to the floor.</p><p>"And you saved me too. It would've been worse if you hadn't warned me when I walked out of the staircase, and then you stopped him from shooting me more than he already had." Connor leaned forward and touched her shoulder, and she looked up. He earnestly told her: "You were very brave."</p><p>"...Okay," Alice said in a small voice.</p><p>Kara took a step closer and said: "I also apologize for the way I've treated you, Connor. It wasn't right for me to shout at you like that in the precinct. It wasn't right to take advantage of what happened in the past."</p><p>Alice glanced up at her. She hadn't known that that kind of thing had happened.</p><p>"It's all right," Connor uneasily said. "I understand why you did it."</p><p>"No, actually. It's not all right," Markus spoke for the first time. His voice was heavier than Alice had ever heard it to be, on TV or in New Jericho and even in the boat in November. Markus was angry. "I want to set the record straight, Kara: you don't get to prey on Connor's conscience like you did. You're not the only one who's still deeply affected by what happened back then."</p><p>"Markus!" exclaimed Connor in shock. Markus didn't even look at him. He kept going, his frown terribly unforgiving, and Alice squirmed even though it wasn't directed at her.</p><p>"Don't get me wrong, of course I'm glad Alice is safe and back with her parents. I'm glad Connor found her. But you knew damn well that he felt guilty and you selfishly went ahead and made him feel indebted to you," accused Markus. "You made him feel like he owed you just so you could have your own private police officer working nonstop out of guilt, day and night, solely dedicated to finding your daughter."</p><p>Luther had stepped closer and his expression was cautious, his right arm held out between Markus and his two girls. Kara's eyes were wide too but Alice could see the shame in them. Alice knew then that Markus was saying the truth. </p><p>"I'm warning you for the first and last time: don't think Connor owes you anything because of the things he did before he deviated, and don't you <em>dare</em> make him think that he does." Markus' voice was still level but his gaze was intensely directed at Kara, and he concluded: "Is that clear?"</p><p>Kara slowly nodded. "Yes. Yes... It's clear."</p><p>"Markus, calm down," said Connor after recovering from his surprise. "Kara was scared for Alice, of course she would've had a hard time controlling her feelings."</p><p>Markus looked at him. The look in his eyes shifted and his voice was softer when he said: "My point still stands, Connor, no matter what the circumstances were."</p><p>"Markus is right," Kara said. "I already knew this even before stepping in this room. I was unfair to you, Connor. I'm sorry for making you feel that way and I hope you can both forgive me."</p><p>"Of course I forgive you," quickly said Connor.</p><p>Markus was slower to respond, but after studying Kara, Luther, and then Alice, his gaze eventually returned to her and he said: "As long as you don't forget what I told you, then we're fine."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>- 16/10/2020 -</p><p>Connor: My name is Connor, I'm the android unable to understand the concept of '<em>forgiveness, but directed at me</em>'</p><p>Hey pumpkin! And here we have the hospital scene Val drew. Aren't these two gay robots so soft? I love them. Soooo much.</p><p>Onto the chapter!<br/>- One day Markus will burst a thirium vessel from Connor's antics. Everyone wonders why he's so stressed all the time and uh, well, Connor's probably a considerable factor<br/>- And Connor knows that and he's trying, okay, but the trauma and conditioning doesn't go away that easily<br/>- It's okay they love each other very much and are willing to listen to what the other has to say and work to better themselves<br/>- Canada Robot Family has been REUNITED, and with that, a big big hug that they all really needed and deserved!<br/>- Aha, Alice has got the Eye for the RK1K hints, but then again Markus and Connor couldn't exactly be bothered to hide they were holding hands any better than they did<br/>- Connor is amazing with kids and he doesn't even try<br/>- Alice wants to make up for being mean to Connor, somehow. Perhaps she will?<br/>- Markus is big mad but who can blame him? He's been working hard to help Connor get better with his past trauma. At least Kara recognized she was in the wrong.</p><p>Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Welcome, Connor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alice went to school the very next day to get back Foxy. The boys had taken him with them on the way home and they'd thought it would be funny to throw him in a trash bin. Miss Sally had called their parents and got them to confess, and they'd had to go out in the middle of the evening to get him out of the garbage. They'd had to clean him, too. Both boys apologized to Alice for their stupid, heartless actions but she didn't really listen or care. Nothing mattered now that she had Foxy back.</p><p>Karim also came to say sorry for leaving her behind but Alice didn't resent him for that at all. He would've died if he'd stayed. Karim didn't understand what she meant by that at first and when Alice explained that he'd nearly gotten shot, Karim was shocked and even upset. Alice didn't understand at first why he left so fast, nor why he seemed to be mad at her. It was Anna who explained to her that maybe she hadn't chosen the best way to tell the boy about it. Alice hadn't realized. It seemed like such a little thing in comparison to what she'd gone through. Then she got angry. Karim was fine, why was he complaining? He wasn't the one who'd gotten kidnapped and thrown into a trunk and hit and locked up in a room for so long. He hadn't even seen the gun trained on him. Alice remembered very clearly the sight of the muzzle of the gun pointed straight at her while she laid pinned to the ground by a big, heavy foot. </p><p>Karim came back later to apologize again, this time for the way he'd reacted to her words. Alice still felt agitated and wasn't that willing to forgive him for this. Karim explained he was still scared and often remembered the way Alice had been grabbed and lifted off the ground. He didn't walk back home anymore. He refused to, and so he had to stay at a friend's house pretty late before one of his parents could come and get him. Kara didn't want Alice to walk home anymore either so Alice had to stay behind at school for longer than usual, and in the end she agreed to take Karim back as well instead of making him stay at his friend's all the time. Not that Karim had minded, but it had been more of a temporary solution than a real one.</p><p>When they walked out of the school towards Kara's car, Alice realized that the sight of the open trunk made her uneasy and she avoided getting close to it. Kara noticed her behavior and asked her why she wasn't putting her bag inside. Alice said she didn't want to. Kara continued to ask why and then, suddenly, Alice was crying in front of her mom and friend both. She hadn't even felt it coming. She did manage to tell Kara what was wrong in the end, and Karim didn't make fun of her for this stupid fear. </p><p>That evening, Luther and Kara suggested that it would be good for her to go see Josh again. He'd fixed the eating problem so maybe he'd be able fix this too. Their suggestion turned into a decision when Alice woke up screaming in the middle of that very night from a brand new kind of horror. Alice returned to New Jericho to see the third leader the same week, but Josh directed her to the second leader, North. He said counselling would be more effective with her on this kind of topic. Alice was perplexed because she'd heard that North was very busy and sometimes downright rude, but they trusted Josh so Kara and Luther brought her to see her instead. Alice was surprised when North smiled at her and used a soft voice. Maybe this would be okay after all. Luther also began therapy around that time because Kara told him her own sessions had helped her and that he couldn't keep getting nightmares the way he did, and even if he'd been very reluctant at first, Kara knew to be very convincing.</p><p>In picking back up her counselling sessions, Alice returned to spending time in the Butterfly Garden. Anna was happy to see her outside of school and Thomas was elated to speak to her again. Ben didn't look like he cared. He never really looked like he cared.</p><p>It was difficult for Alice to readjust to her routine in the beginning. The first few days, there was always a moment when her focus would suddenly snap into place and she'd start feeling scared, like someone was following or watching her, like something bad was going to happen. She'd think back to how small and powerless she'd been, and how tall and strong they'd been. She'd remember the guns they were holding and the smell of Red Ice and their jerky movements and their nervous, deaf muttering. She'd remember Todd. Sometimes her nightmares mixed both of her pasts and she felt like she'd never escaped.</p><p>Sometimes she managed to snap out of it because she'd remember that Connor had saved her, that he'd been there too, that her escape wasn't a dream. Now, whenever she saw him in New Jericho, she felt relieved. It was like the threat he'd once represented for her had been erased to give way to a feeling of safety, and it almost felt like a shelter whenever she ran up to his side to greet him. He always took the time to say hello back, even when he was busy. Alice liked him. She understood now how the other kids felt towards their Mister Connor.</p><p>Alice also noticed that Connor's smile was something of a gift; he wasn't a very happy person. It wasn't that she'd ever had that image of him but the more time she spent with him, the more she realized that compared to the people he was friends with, Connor didn't frequently grin. She'd never heard him laugh, or chuckle, or even exhale through his nose. When Connor found something funny, he'd smile, but it never went beyond that and even funny things weren't always enough to make him smile. So Alice was happy whenever he showed that he was happy, and she even felt lucky when he smiled at her. Connor had a very pretty smile. He always made her feel a bit timid when he showed it, even when she'd hoped or expected to see one. </p><p>Kara also seemed to be thinking back on what had happened a lot. She was more easily worried when Alice was late, was always checking on her when they were at home, and Alice also knew that it was more difficult than before for Kara to fall asleep because she'd heard her talk with Luther very late into the night on several occasions. Kara was also bothered by what Markus had told her about the way she'd treated Connor and felt regretful about it. She wanted to make Connor understand how truly sorry she was and how she now considered him a trustworthy individual so he wouldn't feel so uneasy around her anymore- it seemed Alice hadn't been the only one to notice Connor's discomfort in the hospital room.</p><p>Luther and Alice agreed that maybe Kara needed some time out of the house when she wasn't at work, away from her little girl, because as the days went on she really wasn't getting any better and they both worried that she'd soon turn into a nervous wreck and get stuck that way. Luther suggested that Alice could spend the night at a friend's house, but Kara wasn't on board with the idea of letting Alice go anywhere that wasn't their home so soon after her kidnapping. Then Luther mentioned babysitting, but Kara didn't know any babysitter worthy of her trust. Later, Alice had a wonderful idea and she decided that she would put her plan into action the next time she'd go to the Butterfly Garden.</p><p>She didn't cross paths with Connor on the first attempt, but she figured that she was there too early and that he was still at work.</p><p>The second time, Anna caught on that Alice was up to something when she pointed out: "Why do you keep looking around all the time? You were already doing that on Monday." Then it hit her and she asked: "Who are you looking for?"</p><p>Alice admitted: "I want to talk to Connor. Do you think he's still at work?" It was already 7PM and she'd been there for an hour without seeing him, but she knew that he worked night shifts too.</p><p>"Why do you want to see him?" asked Thomas, suddenly popping up from behind Anna.</p><p>Alice shrugged. "No reason... I just want to say hi and stuff."</p><p>"Well, I haven't seen him yet," said Anna.</p><p>"Oh! I saw him this morning!" exclaimed Thomas. "He came to see me and Ben and said it was his day off today. He's probably smooching his boyfriend or something." The boy started making kissy lips and Anna shoved her palm in his face.</p><p>"Ew," she said, and Alice giggled. Oh well, not today then.</p><p> </p><p>Alice finally got to talk to him on Saturday when she found him with Ralph and Rupert and everyone else. Kara had let her go out and play while she talked with Josh so Alice had hurried to join up with her friends, and she was elated to see Connor's familiar profile among the people crouching in the dirt and plants. Alice zoomed up to him and brightly said: "Hi Connor!"</p><p>Connor looked surprised for a second to see her so cheery, and then he smiled. "Hi, Alice. How are you?"</p><p>"I wanted to talk to you earlier but I couldn't find you," she told him, eager now that she finally had the chance to ask.</p><p>Connor took his hands away from the dirt and leaned back on his heels to give her his full attention. "What did you want with me?"</p><p>Alice sat down next to him and lowered her voice a bit. There was only Rupert right next to them and he probably wouldn't care about what she had to tell Connor, but she didn't want the other kids to hear if ever her suggestion got rejected. "Well... Kara's looking for a babysitter so she can go spend some time with Luther outside of our home for an evening, but she doesn't trust anyone for it, so I was wondering if... you'd be okay with it?"</p><p>Connor stared at her.</p><p>"Babysitting me," she precised.</p><p>Connor looked down at his dirt-covered hands.</p><p>"I'll be good, I promise," quickly added Alice. "I'm not noisy and I can even make my own dinner, and I won't make a fuss about going to bed or anything like that. It's really just so Kara can go have fun for a night and not worry because you'll be there to look after me. She said she trusts you now, so... I think if you said yes, she'd say yes too. And I think she really needs to have an evening to herself."</p><p>Connor was silent for a little bit longer and then looked at Alice again. "Was this your idea?"</p><p>"Yes?" ventured Alice, unsure if Connor would find that to be a good or bad thing.</p><p>"So Kara doesn't know you've asked me this, and neither does Luther."</p><p>"No... Not really."</p><p>Connor's expression wasn't easy to read. It wasn't that his face was empty but it kind of looked like he had too many emotions at once to properly express one. He looked confused most of all.</p><p>"And you'd..." Connor hesitated. "Do you <em>want</em> this? Wouldn't you be scared to stay alone with me for so long?"</p><p>Alice very seriously said: "I wouldn't ask if I didn't want it, right?"</p><p>Connor was pensive for a little while, and then he said: "I could come help if I was needed, yes... But you should make sure your parents really want that for you. I don't want to intrude."</p><p>Alice enthusiastically nodded. "Okay, I'll ask them!"</p><p> </p><p>Kara's eyes were wide. "You went and asked him directly?"</p><p>Luther gently covered her hand with his and gave her one of the looks that were meant to soothe her, and then he asked Alice: "Did it go well?"</p><p>Alice leaned forward on the table of their living space, her shoulders leveling over her elbows where they were planted on the hard surface. "Yes, he said he'd be okay to help if you agreed to it!"</p><p>"But..." Kara glanced at Luther, uncertain.</p><p>Luther steadily said: "You did say you wanted him to know that you trust him now."</p><p>"And he saved me!" added Alice. "I'll be safer with him as my babysitter than I'd be with anyone else. You won't have anything to worry about!"</p><p>Kara gazed at them both. "Well, obviously Alice would be okay with this. And you, Luther? You'd be okay with it too if we left for an entire night?"</p><p>"I think we're lucky that Connor is willing to take the time to look after Alice for that long. And if you want to go home early because you're too worried, we can," Luther reassured her.</p><p>Kara was silent for a bit and eventually said: "...Okay. If you're both confident that it'll be fine, then I am too."</p><p> </p><p>Alice told Connor as soon as she could that her parents were fine with him coming over to babysit, and eventually Kara and Luther had an evening planned and Connor was given the date when his services would be required. Alice was watching from her spot on the couch as both Kara and Luther readied themselves to leave when there was a strong knock on the door, which kind of surprised her because she hadn't expected the mild-mannered Connor she knew to be that authoritative in the gesture. Then again, he did work with the police.</p><p>"Coming!" called Kara, and she went to open the door with Luther at her back.</p><p>When Connor appeared in the doorway, Alice noticed right away that he was a bit tense. His lips were set in a serious line and his gaze was cautious when it rested on the two androids in front of him. Maybe he was nervous? Alice was a little nervous herself, but probably not for the same reasons.</p><p>"Good evening, Connor." Kara greeted him with a smile which was half-genuine and half-stuck, and Alice wasn't that surprised to see her mom behave so awkwardly. Kara was definitely nervous.</p><p>"Good evening," replied Connor. He didn't even try to smile at all.</p><p>"Thank you for taking this time out of your schedule for us," said Kara.</p><p>"It's no problem. If you ever change your mind, however, don't hesitate to tell me. I'll leave as soon as you tell me to."</p><p>"You're welcome in this house, Connor," intervened Luther at her side.</p><p>"Oh, yes," quickly said Kara, and she stepped aside and gestured towards the living space. "Come inside."</p><p>Connor entered swiftly and quietly, his steps measured and almost cautious. It looked like he half-expected something to jump at him from the walls or the floorboards. Yep, Alice thought to herself, they were all nervous. Except Luther. Luther was practically always calm.</p><p>"Hi, Connor," she said from the couch.</p><p>He noticed her sitting curled up in her corner and lifted a hand to salute her. "Hi, Alice. How are you feeling?"</p><p>"I'm fine."</p><p>He nodded and there was a small beat of silence where no one really seemed to know what to say.</p><p>"Well, I guess we should get going," said Kara. "Please make sure Alice doesn't go to bed too late."</p><p>"Of course," said Connor.</p><p>Kara walked up to the couch to kiss Alice on the forehead and said: "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"</p><p>Alice squeezed her hand. "Have fun with Luther. Don't worry about me too much, I'll be fine with Connor."</p><p>"I know," said Kara with a tender smile. "I love you, Alice."</p><p>"I love you too, Mom."</p><p>Luther waved at Alice from where he stood with a gentle smile as Kara thanked Connor again, and then they left. Alice and Connor gazed at each other. It was strange meeting outside of the Butterfly Garden. The last time that had happened, they'd been in a creepy building and Connor had been bleeding everywhere. Alice chased the memory away and quickly stood up on the couch.</p><p>"Do you know what you want to do?" she asked him.</p><p>Connor stared at her and his expression finally loosened into something clearly puzzled instead of the serious, professional mask he'd been wearing in front of Kara and Luther. Alice wondered if it was because he felt more at ease with her. They were kind of friends, after all, and they'd talked to each other way more often than Connor had talked to either Kara or Luther.</p><p>"I've never tried babysitting before," he said in a tone that made it sound like he was admitting something he'd done wrong. "I'm sorry, I don't really know what I'm supposed to do."</p><p>"Oh, that's okay." Alice climbed down from the couch and went to get a chair. "We have games to play when we're bored."</p><p>"Games?" Connor watched her, mystified, as she dragged it up to one of the closets in the appartment. </p><p>"Well, we're only two so it won't be as fun, but it can still be fun." Alice pulled the doors open and got on top of the chair to reach for two of the board games she liked best, and then she turned to him and said: "Can you help me get that one, please?"</p><p>Connor complied and Alice was reminded how tall he was when he easily got the card game she'd been aiming for, even though she was standing on a chair and he wasn't even on the tip of his toes. It was easy to forget when he often avoided standing too close to her and would be crouching in the Garden the rest of the time.</p><p>"Here," he said as he handed her the game.</p><p>"Thank you," she answered in a more subdued tone. Alice didn't think she'd sound like that until the word left her mouth, but she belatedly realized that she sounded intimidated.</p><p>Connor seemed to realize how close they were and he quickly took a step back. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."</p><p>"You <em>didn't</em> scare me," Alice loudly said.</p><p>"Oh." Connor looked like he didn't know how to react to her reproval. "Sorry."</p><p>Alice put down the games on the chair and stood back up to face him. She felt equal parts curious and annoyed, both at herself and at Connor. "Why are you always saying sorry? I told you, you don't scare me anymore."</p><p>Connor gazed at her and softly said: "Sometimes I do."</p><p>Alice knew he was right, but she frowned at him and shook her head. "Well, that's not the point. You still say sorry too often even when you don't need to. I don't want you to feel bad about standing next to me and all that stuff. We're going to be alone here for a whole evening! We're gonna have to be close to each other a lot and I'm not worried about it, so you shouldn't be either."</p><p>Connor's gaze drifted down to the games and then back to her face, and he nodded lightly. "Yes, you're right."</p><p>"Okay." Alice jumped down and gathered the games in her arms once more. "Let's go play."</p><p>She lead the way back to the table and Connor followed her. They each took a seat, Alice picked a game and started setting it up, and Connor quickly pitched in once he understood where the pieces of the board game were supposed to go.</p><p>Connor was a different kind of player from Kara and Luther. His decisions were quick and it looked like every move he made was only meant to be efficient. It didn't really look like he was having fun but he looked invested, so Alice supposed that was good. She'd known he was obviously a very advanced model so she'd made sure to pick luck-based games, because even though she wasn't a sore loser, she hadn't wanted to spend the entire evening tasting defeat. Alice was glad to see that as the evening progressed, Connor seemed more and more at ease playing with her in her home. He even smiled once when she won one of their last rounds.</p><p>When it was time to make dinner, Alice had to guide him around the kitchen because he clearly wasn't used to it. It made sense since he didn't need to eat. Alice could've taken over but she wasn't that hungry yet and it was funny watching Connor fumble around, opening the fridge and taking out eggs only to have to return to it three times after because he'd forgotten the butter, then the ham, then the cheese. He also didn't salt the water before putting in the pasta even though Kara always said pasta tasted better that way, and when Alice told him that, he frantically started a search for salt and ended up dumping a little too much of it in the simmering pot. </p><p>"I'm better at making dessert," Connor said a tad defensively when he finally set down the plate in front of Alice.</p><p>Alice giggled and teased: "I'd like to see that!"</p><p>Connor crossed his arms over his chest, not looking angry but not looking very pleased either. "I am. I've made a few cakes for my friend before and he says they taste good."</p><p>She shoveled a forkful of slightly-too-salty pasta covered in egg in her mouth and thoughtfully chewed on her food. "Could we make one together next time you babysit me?"</p><p>Connor had turned around to start cleaning up and he froze when she said that. Alice looked up at him and saw that he looked very taken aback. "You mean this isn't just for this one time?"</p><p>Alice frowned, a bit hurt. "Well if you don't want to..."</p><p>"No, no, that's not what I meant," quickly rectified Connor. "I just didn't think your parents trusted me enough to do this more than once."</p><p>"But if they trusted you once, why wouldn't they trust you again for the same thing?" she pointed out.</p><p>"...Right." Connor resumed washing the pan and was silent for a little bit. Alice continued eating, and then she heard him say: "... If they did ask for my assistance again, I'd gladly make a cake with you."</p><p>Alice smiled around her fork. She quickly chewed and swallowed her bite so she could answer: "That would be really great!"</p><p> </p><p>Alice went to bed an hour later without a fuss, just as she'd promised, and Connor told her he'd be on the couch if she needed anything. Falling asleep was surprisingly easy. Staying asleep, however, proved to be the difficult part. It still happened for Alice to wake up shaking and crying even though her nightmares had been getting better. Screaming herself awake was rarer these days and she knew that when she blinked awake curled up like this, she hadn't screamed. But someone was in the room with her so they'd heard her make noise, and when Alice realized she wasn't alone she reared up and backpedaled against the wall. The fingers that had been on her shoulders immediately withdrew and the person took several quick steps backwards with their hands in the air. The lights were on but it took her a moment to realize that it was Connor standing there, staring at her like she might explode. Alice's chest was heaving and her cheeks were wet. </p><p>"You were having a nightmare," said Connor in a quiet voice.</p><p>Alice knew that. She felt terribly anxious and unsafe. She grabbed at her toy fox and pulled it to her lap as she sniffled and scrubbed at her eyes.</p><p>"I can see that you're scared," continued Connor. "Do you want to come with me? You don't have to go back to sleep right now if you don't want to."</p><p>Alice peered at him. Kara usually hugged her and rocked her back to sleep when it was this bad but of course Connor wouldn't do the same.</p><p>"We can watch TV together," he offered. "That's what I do with my friends."</p><p>Alice hesitated and then wordlessly nodded. She always had difficulty speaking right after a nightmare. Connor didn't comment on her silence and when she stopped a bit away from him, Foxy dangling from her fist, he understood on his own that she was waiting for him to lead the way so he stepped out of the bedroom first. Alice followed him to the couch and saw that the TV wasn't on yet. She wondered how Connor had been keeping himself busy while she was sleeping. Adults did have the capacity to communicate wirelessly so maybe he'd been talking with someone.</p><p>Connor activated the screen and sat down, and Alice climbed after him. She didn't keep the distance between them. She needed someone safe close to her when she felt this shaken up, Foxy wasn't enough.</p><p>Connor looked down at her and gestured at the screen. "Is this okay?"</p><p>He'd put on a show about decorating. Alice shrugged. </p><p>"Do you need anything?" he continued.</p><p>She hesitated and scooted even closer, slowly moved his arm over her side, and looked up at him for permission as she burrowed into his flank. Connor was suddenly tense but he didn't say anything and didn't push her away, and his arm didn't move in her hands, so Alice hoped that meant she was allowed to stay there.</p><p>"Is this what you want?" he cautiously asked. </p><p>Alice nodded.</p><p>"Do I just leave my arm like that?"</p><p>She patted his hand lightly and then continued holding onto Connor's arm. She wouldn't have insisted if he'd chosen to retrieve his arm then, but he didn't. Alice felt secure. Connor looked a bit confused by what she was doing, but after a few seconds he turned his head to the TV and they watched the show in silence.</p><p>Eventually Alice found her voice again and she dared ask: "You said you did this with your friends."</p><p>Connor looked at her. "Yes, I did say that."</p><p>Alice hesitated to ask her question. She knew it was a very personal one. Connor was waiting, though, and he was listening, so she went ahead. "Did you mean when <em>they</em> get nightmares? Or do you get nightmares too?"</p><p>Shame flickered in his eyes, then his features turned darkly pensive and he looked down at his lap where his hand closed into a fist. </p><p>He murmured: "We all get them."</p><p>Alice wanted to ask him what his nightmares were about but he looked so sad that she couldn't bring herself to do it. She had the strong urge to comfort him and tightened her hold around his arm.</p><p>"I'm really glad you were there for me, you know. I think you're a really nice person." Alice hesitated and then timidly added: "Also, I like when you smile."</p><p>Connor's expression had softened but her last words were what cleared away the grief at the back of his brown eyes. His lips curled up and he said in a gentle voice: "Thank you, Alice. I like seeing you smile, too."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>- 23/10/2020 - </p><p>Alice: Be my babysitter please<br/>Connor: *system error*</p><p>Hey pumpkin! Here we are, end of the story. I hope you had a good time reading it!<br/>- Alice doesn't have PTSD but she does have Adjustment Disorder, but she'll get better cause she's got help!<br/>- Alice takes the initiative! She asks Connor if he wants to be a babysitter! Connor is very confused!<br/>- Kara is so awkwarddd haha. She's trying to be less of a on-the-verge-of-a-nervous-meltdown-mom and she's managing it, slowly but surely! She'll do her best to act less weird around Connor. Thank rA9 for Luther, he's so good for her.<br/>- Alice takes the lead! She shows Connor the reigns of babysitting! Connor is doing his best!<br/>- Post-trauma buddies. That's a thing. They're gonna watch a decorating show because that's what Hank does for Connor when he comes over and doesn't feel good.<br/>- Yes, Connor will be Alice's regular babysitter from now on~</p><p>I really enjoyed writing the android family, how Kara and Luther and Alice look out for each other, and how Connor could establish a positive bond with them despite their past! Thank you for your support and kind words, and thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my piece for the Android Whump Reverse Big Bang (31/08/2020), and my first time writing Alice as a protagonist! It was very interesting to delve in her psychology so thank you Val, you wonderful artist you, for the inspiration of Connor protecting and bonding with Alice. I'm glad I was able to be paired with you!</p><p>Amazing art of the chapters 7 and 8 by my BB partner <a href="https://twitter.com/mildeamasoj/status/1300401957346177025?s=21">Val</a>, please go show them some love!</p><hr/><p>Come by and say hi on <a href="https://lost-tanuki.tumblr.com/post/184765301043/dbh-fics">Tumblr</a> (link to my DBH fic masterlist), and <a href="https://twitter.com/losttanuki">Twitter</a>!<br/>You can also find me on the "Pumpkin Patch" Discord server (pm me on Tumblr/Twitter to join). I'm looking forward to seeing you there!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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